A character in My Wife and Kids
Jay (to Claire, who broke up with Tony after seeing him with another woman, who was actually his cousin): Baby, you've got to communicate with Tony. That is the secret to any good relationship. How do you think your father and I have held in there for so long?
Unplanned pregnancies?
(Jay stamps on Michael's foot) Ow!
You said you wanted me to give the male point of view, I'm giving you the male point of view!
Go point your view back at the television.
Michael (to Claire, who is eating junk food to comfort her after her breakup with Tony): Claire, you gotta watch your sugar intake. You're already genetically predisposed to being a little thick. (looks at Jay)
That wasn't even necessary!
Baby, I was just being honest.
Do I run around the house telling Junior that he's genetically predisposed of looking like a brown egg?
Mom always burns the bottom of her cookies, and I like that.
Thanks...I think.
It's Junior's first big-boy drawers!
I remember the big doo-doos he left in those drawers.
Junior's SAT scores just came in.
Oh boy, let me get the whiskey.
Claire, you're 16 now, what do you see yourself doing in the next few years?
Shopping.
This beef stroganoff is really saying something.
Yeah, it's saying 'I'm meatloaf!'
What is my dress size?
The answer to your question is, your dress size is a six...
*giggling*
...teen!
What, you have a big-screen TV in your back pocket?
No, but thanks for suggesting one can fit back there.
I'm cleaning out the closet.
With what, a bomb?
Tell me that's not Brian McKnight.
That's not Brian McKnight.
Yes, it is, Junior.
Then why'd you tell me to tell you--
Shut up, boy, and get me to the altar!
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My Wife and Kids · 66 quotes
