"Why do they call it a 'coffin' when you can't cough?"
Junior
My Wife and Kids · 66 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in My Wife and Kids: in 18 of its 66 quotes
Most scenes with: Michael (9), Jay (3), Claire (2)
Lines by Junior 5
"Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your milkshake!"
"I may have put the '-oron' in 'moron', but I didn't put the '-upid' in 'dumb'!"
"And he [Christopher Columbus] thought the world was round. What an idiot!"
"You know I can't work a VCR."
Scenes with Junior 13
JJunior (who's about to eat raw chicken)
Have you ever heard of sushi?
Have you ever heard of salmonella?
JJunior
No, but if she knows how to cook, invite her over?
No asking your grandfather for money.
JJunior
I can't stop him. He folds it up in his hand and shoves it in my pocket. What can I do?
Be naked. I bet he won't shove it in that pocket.
JJunior
These hands were made for love.
I know one of them is.
JJunior
For once, I'm not the dumbest one in the room.
TTony
Yes, you are.
JJunior
You just proved me right. Because it's, "Yes, you is."
Why don't you quit while you're behind, son?
JJunior
He who runs away, lives to fight another day.
Yeah. And then he runs to join the Village People.
Junior (about accidentally knocking Michael out while being taught how to box): I feel like Sugar Ray.
JJay
Which one?
JJunior
The band.
Claire (after telling Junior, who got into a fight with Tony and got beat up after he assumed that Claire and Tony were having sex, when really they were playing miniature golf): What did you think we did?
JJunior
It.
It?
JJay
It?
It?
That's disgusting!
JJay
That's disgusting!
That's just plain damn nasty.
Son, how do you feel about sheep?
JJunior
Hey, who don't like saving money?
Junior, get your butt out of my face!
JJunior
Get your face out of my butt!
I'm the one in the line of fire!
VVanessa
Which yogurt flavor is my favorite?
JJunior
Seven!
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