Tuck quotes from My Life as a Teenage Robot

Tuck

Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Jennifer.

Tuck

[during the closing musical number] Hey! Who're you guys singing to? And how'd you memorize those lyrics with no practice? Guys? C'mon, snap out of it! You're creeping me out! Guys? Guys!

Tuck

Are you sure Dr. Wakeman will loan her mini-jet to a dwarf, two teens, and a disembodied head?

Tuck

Funny. I don't remember turning you on. In fact, I thought I left your batteries right…over…there.

Tuck

[enters the UFO cockpit] Brad? [gasps upon seeing Brad fiddling around with the controls] Brad, what are you doing?! You're gonna blows us up or vaporize us or get us grounded! [Brad pulls a lever starting up the UFO as it starts rising off the ground] Or get us ungrounded. [Jenny hears the UFO rising, turns around, and sees it flying out the woods and into the sky] Get us down, get us down, get us down!

Brad

I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying! [The UFO screeches to a stop in midair] Did that stop it?

Tuck

No. [points to Jenny with her foot on it] That did.

Jenny

I thought I told you to stay put.

Brad

Well, we tried, but then you…

Jenny

Put the ship down.

Brad

That's what I...

Jenny

Down!

Brad

But...

Jenny

Now.

Brad

You can't stay, Tuck.

Jenny

Yeah, adults only.

Brad

See? This is exactly why he can't be here.

Tuck

I could be an adult! I COULD BE AN ADULT!

Tuck

Hi, Jenny! How was Japan?

Jenny

[in Japanese] Good afternoon.

Tuck

"Konichiwa"? Cool! [He and his brother were given two gifts from Jenny] For us?

Brad

Aw, you didn't have to bring these.

Jenny

[in Japanese] Eh, no big.

Tuck

"So ne". Hahaha!

Brad

[laughs] I got to run to the mall. Hey, Jenny, you want to come?

Jenny

[in Japanese] Sure.

Brad

Huh?

Jenny

[in Japanese] What's wrong with you? Don't you hear me? I love going to the mall. [she is surprised] Why Japanese? Why am I only speaking Japanese? Why? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Jenny

That was horrible!

Brad

Okay, the waterfall was pretty weak. Just consider it a warm up for what's to come.

Jenny

A warm up?

Brad

Sure, ya gotta start somewhere.

Tuck

And the rest of the rides only get better.

Jenny

[upset] And do the rest of these rides make fools out of robots too?

Brad

What are you talking about?

Jenny

I'm talking about hydrolic surges forced into your hips to make them shake. Do you have any idea what that can do to a ball and socket joint?

Brad

Come on, Jenny. It's all in good fun!

Jenny

Yeah, fun for the humans! How'd you like to sing some stupid song over and over all day long?

Jenny

Where should we go first?

Tuck

Toys, toys, toys!

Sheldon

I hear the Gadget Shack is having a sale on widgets.

Tuck

Toys!

Brad

I could pick up a few more black sweater vests at Fashion Fair.

Tuck

Toys!

Jenny

I want to try out that new lilac scented motor oil.

Tuck

Toys!

Jenny

What about you, Tuck? Is there any particular store you'd like to visit first?

Tuck

Hmm. Well, I could use some new socks and underwear. Or we could go to... TOYS!

Jenny

Looks like I'll have to settle for Brad again.

Brad

Settle? What's that supposed to mean?

Jenny

I just…I just meant-

Brad

Meant what? Brad's not datable? Brad's a loser? Brad couldn't get a date if he were rich, handsome and the last man on planet earth?

Jenny

I just meant we could go together if I couldn't find anyone else.

Brad

Don't you mean anyone better?

Jenny

No, I-

Brad

You must be pretty desperate.

Jenny

Look who's talking. I heard Kiki dumped you for Don Prima.

Brad

Hey, I dumped her!

Jenny

Was that before or after you got down on your knees and begged her to go to the movie with you?

Tuck

Juicy!

Brad

Well, at least I have options. Anyway, who says I'd settle for you? I already have a date.

Jenny

Oh, yeah?! Who?!

Brad

That's for me to know and you never to find out. That is unless you find a date, which I doubt! [leaves while laughing]

Jenny

[yelling out the window] I DEMAND to know the name of your date!

Brad

Over my dead body!

Jenny

Don't give me any ideas! [slams the window door closed]

Jenny

Brad! Tuck!

Jenny!

Sheldon

I didn't get a hug.

I'm so glad to see you.

Jenny

You crossed the galaxy just for me?

Tuck

Actually, we...

Brad

Yes, yes, we did.

Jenny

Brad, get away from her! She's up to something sinister!

Brad

What on earth are you talking about?!

Jenny

Everything she touches is destroyed. Bad stuff's been happening around her all day.

Brad

You've been following us? I think there's something wrong with you. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous because I'm spending time with her instead of you.

Jenny

Don't be absurd. I'm...just trying to look out for you. [as she points to Melody] She's evil! Just like her father!

[upset, loudly] NO, I'M NOT! [shy, quietly] I mean...I am not.

Brad

Look, Jen. Melody would never hide anything from me, and she is most certainly not evil. Come on, Melody. [As he walks away with Melody see some logs rolling down and Melody is flying with Brad to take off]

Jenny

She's a robot?

Brad

[to Melody] You're a robot? Jenny was right! You were hiding something from me!

Please don't upset, Brad. The whole reason I ran away from my dad is because I want to live like a normal girl.

Brad

But you lie to me. How can I ever trust you now? [Melody kissed him] Duh, so she's mechanical.

Jenny

Oh no, you don't.

Brad

Jenny, have you lost your mind?!

Jenny

It's for your own good, Brad. You're too close to this to see the evil master plan at work.

Brad!

Jenny

You'll be safe here while I'll take care of this. [flies off]

Now look, Jenny. I know what you're thinking. Please let me...[as Jenny punches her]

Jenny

No more tricks, Miss Locust. [She begin to fight]

Tuck

Hey, what's going on?

Brad

You wouldn't understand, Tuck.

Tuck

Looks like Jenny's fighting your girlfriend Melody apparently a robot under predisposition that as the daughter of Dr. Locust, she must be evil while in fact it's all a thinly veiled streak of jealously over companionship.

Brad

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Tuck

[laughing] They're fighting over you! [stops laughing] No, really. What's going on?

Jenny

[to Melody] You're as evil as your father!

[rage, to Jenny] I'm not evil! I'M A NORMAL GIRL! [as she explode with furiously rage and morph into her true form, coming out of her exo-skin and revealing herself to be a large, spiny, and terrifying insect-like robot armed with many weapons] I...AM...NORMAAAAL!!!!! [She attempts try to kill Jenny, everyone is terrified, but as soon she sees Brad, staring in petrified horror, she shifts back into her exo-skin, sadly] I...I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere! [cries, she flies away]

Jenny

She had me dead to rights, she didn't destroy me.

Brad

[upset, to Jenny] Of course not! She's just a confused kid, a robot just like you who wanted to fit in.

Jenny

But what about all the disasters she caused?

Brad

What disasters?! [The car jumped attempts to smash Jenny and Brad, but suddenly Melody grab the car and put it back, she flies away again] Melody just saved our lives, Jen. Still think she's evil.

Jenny

Well, maybe I overreacted a little.

Tuck

Hey, wait a minute. Jen's got a point. If Melody wasn't tossing cars around like so much confetti. Who was?

Jenny

Yeah, not to mention all those other disasters...[as Carol the Cockroach lift her] Carol the champion cockroach? [Carol throws her away]

Brad

But why? [Carol kissed him]

Jenny

Looks like Brad's been quite the chick magnet lately. I think she's was the jealous one.

Tuck

So let me get this straight. This little cockroach has been wreaking havoc all over the place, because she's gaga for Brad? [pause, laughing hilariously]

Brad

Look, Carol. If I learned anything today it's that, I might not be ready for a serious romance. Besides, it would never work. You've got your career to think about. You understand, right? [Carol inhale and exhales and she hugged him and she hopping off] This has been the weirdest day in my life. Come on, guys. Let's go home.

Tuck

[Laughing, Brad grabbed his hand while he's walking] Oh, man. I'm never going to let you live this down. [still laughing]

Brad

[lonely] So long, Mel. [walks off]

Old Sheldon

Jenny! [slowly walks towards Jenny and hits her on the head with his cane] You ruined my life! [falls on his back]

Jenny

Who are you, and what are you talking about?

Old Sheldon

[sits up] I'm your old pal! Sheldon!

Tuck

Crazy old person.

Brad

Move away slowly.

Old Sheldon

I'm Sheldon, I tell ya! I just got me a few wrinkles since you abandoned me… [falls on his back again] 75 years ago!

Brad

That's crazy talk, pops.

Jenny

We just saw Sheldon yesterday.

Tuck

Yeah, hangin' out with those freaky Jenny worshiping aliens.

Old Sheldon

Those awful aliens. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Tuck

It was yesterday, you old--

Old Sheldon

[covers Tuck's mouth with his hand from talking] Hush, boy! I'm telling a story. When Jenny hurled those aliens into outer space… [Flashback to the previous episode's events; voice-over] I was onboard. I tried to get 'em to turn around, but there was a bit of a communication gap. Catching a ride back was impossible! I had to find work to survive. I couldn't keep up as a mechanic, couldn't master beauty salon work, and couldn't stomach the fast food industry.

Tuck

Oh, you rolled doubles? We're using a spinner!

Brad

[as Jenny rolls her eyes, getting tired of their argument] This, from a guy who moves this thimble to the bonus square when I'm not looking.

Tuck

If you're not looking, how would you know?

Jenny

[having enough] Time-out, guys. [breaks them up] Time-out! It's just a game. It's not worth fighting over.