Brad quotes from My Life as a Teenage Robot

Brad

Hi, Jenny, my name's Brad– Whoa, a real life robot!

Jenny

A real life teenager!

[in unison] Whoa! Look at that, and those, and the hair. [laughs]

Brad

So, you're like a super hero who goes around the world having death-defying adventures and defeating dastardly villains?

Jenny

Mm-hmm.

Brad

Sweet!

Jenny

And you're a teenager who goes to high school and meet tons of other kids and hangs out with them?

Brad

Of course.

Jenny

It's got to be around here somewhere.

Brad

[tagging along while flying the jet pack] How about that gas station?

Jenny

No, that's a tra... [realizes] Huh?! Brad, what are you doing?

Brad

Duh. Trying out my new jet pack.

Jenny

I meant, what are you doing here?

Brad

Helping you find the UFO.

Jenny

You can't do that. This is a very delicate intergalactic situation. Turn around and go home right now.

Brad

Your lips say, "go home," but your eyes say…

Jenny

Leave? Look, Brad, this could be dangerous, and I can't watch out for you.

Brad

You don't have to. I can take care of myself.

Tuck

[enters the UFO cockpit] Brad? [gasps upon seeing Brad fiddling around with the controls] Brad, what are you doing?! You're gonna blows us up or vaporize us or get us grounded! [Brad pulls a lever starting up the UFO as it starts rising off the ground] Or get us ungrounded. [Jenny hears the UFO rising, turns around, and sees it flying out the woods and into the sky] Get us down, get us down, get us down!

Brad

I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying! [The UFO screeches to a stop in midair] Did that stop it?

Tuck

No. [points to Jenny with her foot on it] That did.

Jenny

I thought I told you to stay put.

Brad

Well, we tried, but then you…

Jenny

Put the ship down.

Brad

That's what I...

Jenny

Down!

Brad

But...

Jenny

Now.

Jenny

[walks to the driver's seat, getting Brad her attention] Brad. Brad? [shouts] BRAD!

Brad

[snapping back to reality] What? W-what's going on?

Jenny

You're done driving. That's what's going on.

Brad

[smacks her hand away] Hey, who put you in charge of me?

Jenny

[arguing in unison] You break into an alien spaceship after I told you to stay away from it, but that's not good enough for you.

Brad

[arguing in unison] You've been bossing me around all morning.

Brad

You can't stay, Tuck.

Jenny

Yeah, adults only.

Brad

See? This is exactly why he can't be here.

Tuck

I could be an adult! I COULD BE AN ADULT!

Tuck

Hi, Jenny! How was Japan?

Jenny

[in Japanese] Good afternoon.

Tuck

"Konichiwa"? Cool! [He and his brother were given two gifts from Jenny] For us?

Brad

Aw, you didn't have to bring these.

Jenny

[in Japanese] Eh, no big.

Tuck

"So ne". Hahaha!

Brad

[laughs] I got to run to the mall. Hey, Jenny, you want to come?

Jenny

[in Japanese] Sure.

Brad

Huh?

Jenny

[in Japanese] What's wrong with you? Don't you hear me? I love going to the mall. [she is surprised] Why Japanese? Why am I only speaking Japanese? Why? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Jenny

[to Brad; annoyed] Well, Brad, thanks for making me look like a complete… [voice deepens] fool.

Brad

Whoa!

Jenny

[covers her mouth] Oh, no! Now my voice vocoder is malfunctioning too! [the baby laughs at her; quickly dashes out of the restaurant and hides in an alley, wearing a paper bag over her head] Great. I'll have to wear this bag on my head forever, and it smells like fish tacos.

Brad

Everyone goes through this, Jen. It's completely natural.

Jenny

[lightens up] You're right. It's not so bad. Hey, maybe this bag thing will become a new fad: Fish taco bag heads!

Brad

That's the spirit.

Jenny

This is all your fault. [savagely tackles Brad up against the wall] You and your lousy cover-up!

Brad

[singing] Someone's having mood swings.

Jenny

[tearing up while grieving] I'm sorry, sweet Brad! Please forgive me!

Brad

Don't sweat it, Jen. Hey, I bet you've already started to clear up.

Jenny

Really? You think so?

Brad

Sure.

Jenny

[takes the paper bag off her head] How do I look?

Brad

[gets hit by his football helmet, then trips over it] I guess I didn't make the cut?

Did you black out?

Brad

No.

Great. You're on the team.

Jenny

[gushing] Oh my gosh, and then I enjoyed a glass of juice for the first time - orange juice! It tasted like apple! Then Don and I sat in a hot tub, and I didn't electrocute him!

Brad

You know, Jenn, dreams are more fun to have than to hear about.

Jenny

I can turn my dream off anytime I want to. I'm in total control.

Brad

Is that why you've been jumping on desks and riding drinking fountains?

Jenny

[giggling] That tickles. [giggles more]

Brad

Yeah, they are a little primitive, you'll probably feel better without 'em.

Jenny

Yeah, you're right. [raises her arm up showing the last of her nerve ending, she touches it; and she laughs]

Jenny

That was horrible!

Brad

Okay, the waterfall was pretty weak. Just consider it a warm up for what's to come.

Jenny

A warm up?

Brad

Sure, ya gotta start somewhere.

Tuck

And the rest of the rides only get better.

Jenny

[upset] And do the rest of these rides make fools out of robots too?

Brad

What are you talking about?

Jenny

I'm talking about hydrolic surges forced into your hips to make them shake. Do you have any idea what that can do to a ball and socket joint?

Brad

Come on, Jenny. It's all in good fun!

Jenny

Yeah, fun for the humans! How'd you like to sing some stupid song over and over all day long?

Jenny

Where should we go first?

Tuck

Toys, toys, toys!

Sheldon

I hear the Gadget Shack is having a sale on widgets.

Tuck

Toys!

Brad

I could pick up a few more black sweater vests at Fashion Fair.

Tuck

Toys!

Jenny

I want to try out that new lilac scented motor oil.

Tuck

Toys!

Jenny

What about you, Tuck? Is there any particular store you'd like to visit first?

Tuck

Hmm. Well, I could use some new socks and underwear. Or we could go to... TOYS!

Jenny

Looks like I'll have to settle for Brad again.

Brad

Settle? What's that supposed to mean?

Jenny

I just…I just meant-

Brad

Meant what? Brad's not datable? Brad's a loser? Brad couldn't get a date if he were rich, handsome and the last man on planet earth?

Jenny

I just meant we could go together if I couldn't find anyone else.

Brad

Don't you mean anyone better?

Jenny

No, I-

Brad

You must be pretty desperate.

Jenny

Look who's talking. I heard Kiki dumped you for Don Prima.

Brad

Hey, I dumped her!

Jenny

Was that before or after you got down on your knees and begged her to go to the movie with you?

Tuck

Juicy!

Brad

Well, at least I have options. Anyway, who says I'd settle for you? I already have a date.

Jenny

Oh, yeah?! Who?!

Brad

That's for me to know and you never to find out. That is unless you find a date, which I doubt! [leaves while laughing]

Jenny

[yelling out the window] I DEMAND to know the name of your date!

Brad

Over my dead body!

Jenny

Don't give me any ideas! [slams the window door closed]

Brad

[while escaping in the mini-jet from a flock of flying animals] What is this place?!

Sheldon

It's evolution gone mad!!