Victor quotes from Monty Python's Flying Circus

[at the door, greeting Victor] Hello! Remember me? In the pub; the tall thin one, with the moustache, about three years ago?

Well, uh-

Ay, it's dark in here. [turns on the lights] That's better; you told me we must have a drink together sometime, so I decided to take you up on it, as the phone society meeting was cancelled. [turns towards Iris] 'Ello! I'm Arthur, Arthur Name. Name by name, but not by nature. I always say that, don't I Vicky boy? Is she your wife?

Not really, but-

Oh, I get the picture. Don't mind me; I know all about one-night stands.

[insulted] I beg your pardon?!

[to his girlfriend Iris] I think I'm beginning to fall in love with you. It's silly isn't it?

No, not at all, sweet Victor.

No, I didn't mean that. I meant the fact we've spent time close together for so many months in the soft toy department, yet never truly daring to-

[bemused] Oh, Victor.

Oh, Iris.

[introducing himself to Victor] Good evening. I'm Equator; Mr. Equator. Like 'round the middle of the Earth, only with an L.

[laughs hysterically]

And this is my wife, Audrey. She smells a bit, but she has a heart of gold.

There must be some kind of mistake, because this isn't-

[of Iris] Who's she? Who's the bird?

I-

You've got a nice pair there, haven't you, love? [fondles Iris by the breasts and kisses her, causing her to spazz out] Shut up, you silly bitch. It's only a bit of fun.

Get out! All of you; get out!!

I beg your pardon?

I'm throwing you all out! I'm not going to have my house filled with filthy perverts. Now, I'm giving you half a minute to leave or I'm calling the police!

I don't much like the tone of your voice. [shoots Victor dead]