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S4 E5

Monk · Season 4, Episode 5

“Mr. Monk Gets Drunk” quotes from Monk

5 quotes

“Mr. Monk Gets Drunk” · Season 4, Episode 5

In this episode: Adrian Monk (5), Natalie Teeger (2)

[Monk tries to apologize once more to Sylvia Willis about the events of the previous year]

SWSylvia Willis

We had a mystery weekend [last year], and we hired some actors who were going to act out a little murder.

I'm really, really sorry.

SWSylvia Willis

It was supposed to be for three days, and everybody paid in advance for three days. And Adrian solved the case in, what was it, twelve minutes?

I knew that the general's daughter was lying about meeting Churchill because Churchill wasn't knighted until 1953, which meant that Reginald, the limping chauffeur who supplied her alibi, was also lying, so obviously they were lovers who were planning to kill the Sultan.

SWSylvia Willis

Anyway, we had to refund everybody's money, but we learned our lesson: no more mysteries when Adrian Monk is in town.

[Monk is trying to keep Al Nicoletto occupied, and due to a mixup, he has accidentally been given the full strength wine rather than the non-alcoholic wine]

You look like a moose. I think I'll call you... Mr. Look-Like-A-Moose.

[observing women standing in a barrel, crushing grapes]

WEWine Expert

Wine stomping. It's a tradition that goes back thousands of years to the Greeks. We're one of the last wineries in California that at least makes some of their wines using this method.

Oh my God! People actually drink that?!

Yeah, I think so.

Are they insane?! Ask her if they're insane!

[Monk is horrified, having found out how his favorite Cabernet is made]

I've been drinking that wine for fifteen years! It's foot wine! I can taste it!

Oh, come on, you cannot taste it!

I... I... I... can. I can taste the feet now. And the toes. And what's between the toes.

ANAl Nicoletto

And the fungus. It really is barbaric.

Okay, I didn't see any fungus! Look, I'm sure they have clean feet, there are probably rules about that stuff! [She trails off as the grape stompers walk past them, stepping barefoot across the muddy ground] Okay, I admit it, that's pretty disgusting.

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