Rudy, Seth and others in “Unfinished Business”

Rudy

So, having gone to investigate the mysterious noise, I returned to the room... only to find... that the case had vanished. So, I go back to sleep... well, I slipped in a cheeky little sunrise wank, and then I acted all dumb, yeah? Innocent. And do you know what? You were right, mate. It wasn't me and Curtis having a little chat by the vending machine. It was me and Seth. [Scene becomes hallway] It was Curtis. He's the one who took the case, isn't he?

Seth

Why do you say that?

Rudy

I can feel it in my nut sac. You know what he's like. He is sneaky and he's underhand. And he makes cruel jokes about your girlfriend behind her back. It's all this. [Mimics Curtis] Her mouth is so massive, the only way you can shut her up is to wedge one of her tits in there, innit?

Seth

He said that about Kelly?

Rudy

Huh...

Seth

Two-faced bastard. So, what are you saying?

Rudy

I'm saying we should drug his drink and lock him in the freezer until he tells us where the briefcase is. [Scene becomes office] How sneaky am I, eh? Shame on me. See, I think Curtis was in cahoots... "Cahoots" is a great word. I think Curtis was in cahoots with two other people, who just so happen to conveniently turn up at the community centre this morning wearing their orange jumpsuits, claiming they're on community service. Can you see where I'm going with all this?

Finn

You lost me at "cahoots".

Jess

Unbelievable. He's spiked our drinks. No! [Drops glass on floor]

Finn

When was this?

Rudy

Let's not beat ourselves up about it. I mean, I have... I've bamboozled you with me devious cunning, for I have been spinning you a yarn this whole time, just waiting for the drugs to kick in, which should be right about now-ish. [Finn sits on couch and Jess sits in chair] Easy. Go with it. Just let it wash over you. It's like a gentle autumn breeze. [Jess keels over and Rudy sits on couch besides Finn, puts arm on his shoulders] Ooh... Eh? Sleepy-time for Bobos. [Kisses him on head]