[Hands Finn and Jess drinks] I'm going to level with you. Hmm? So prepare to be shocked, huh? Surprised... and more than a little bit amazed. For I am not, in fact, your probation worker. Pfft!
Really? No shit? You should think about becoming an actor.
I know! I know. I know. Just check this out. The truth is, like you. I am also on community service. It all started yesterday. [Hallway scene with voiceover] There we were, we were all gathered around the vending machine after another arse-numbingly boring day.
Our mate Seth had just come back from Africa and he had quite a story to tell. so we end up traveling to Uganda. And we're in this village and some kid wanders into a minefield, ends up standing on a mine. If he moves, he's dead. Kelly marches over, does her rocket science thing and defuses the mine.
Kelly? She defused a mine?
The villagers love her out there, man. They're all singing and dancing... Nachos... or a Twix? Sweet and savoury, it's man's eternal dilemma. So, anyway, I'm just back to get our stuff. Kelly's fucking off her community service. We're going to stay out there and... defuse landmines. She's not coming back.
Who?
Kelly.
What?! She's not coming...? When was this decided? Do we not...? I mean, do we get a say in any...? I am shocked and I am reeling. I'm going to get some chocolate because I'm very upset. [Michael bursts in front doors bleeding and limping holding briefcase]
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