[In recreation centre locker room] So, my mum opens the door and she's like, "Argh!" I'm like, "I'm immortal!" Then she fainted. Faceplants on the radiator. There's blood and teeth everywhere.
Is she all right?
Yeah, she's fine. She's fine. Apart from the whole face. Kinda put a downer on the whole thing.
How did you explain it to your dad?
I told him I faked my own death as part of an elaborate life insurance scam. He was not a happy man.
[Walks in] Who are you?
I could ask you the same thing.
I'm the probation worker.
Oh. [Offers handshake] Nathan. Nathan Young.
They told me you were dead.
Really? [Takes pulse on neck] Apparently not. Could a dead man do this? [Starts dancing and bumps into locker door] Oh! Jesus!
Well, I'll put you back in the system.
Hold on. What? Are you saying I was out of the system? I was a free man? If I didn't show up here, no-one would've come looking for me?
We thought you were dead. [Walks away]
You prick.
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