Melrose Place · Season 1
Ella. Come here. I have yet to master the art of solo drinking. Help me sample some of these delicious cocktails.
Oh, it is like you looked inside my brain and saw a flashing martini glass. [belting down her cocktail]
Oh, gosh. Either you're trying to set a speed drinking record, or you had one bad day at the office.
Mmm. I was going to text you on my way home, but I gave up texting and driving.
[to Drew, taking a doll from the bunch of toys he had bought earlier with Riley] How painfully cute! Who'd you knock up?
[to Jonah, when Jo walks into the party] Oh, God. Jo Reynolds is here? Did somebody complain this party wasn't bossy and overbearing enough?
I had sex for money. I was a prostitute.
[the morning after the party] You smell like one part chlorine, two parts tequila.
Oh, God. I really tackled Drew into the pool, didn't I?
Yes. You did.
Oh, well, that's bad.
Normally I find a brawl between two red-blooded boys kinda hot, but when it's over your ex-fiancée, not so much.
What is this? You're playing hostess?
David's short-staffed. I'm helping him out.
Lor, no one volunteers to deal with a hungry public without an ulterior motive. If you're trying to win him back, just make sure your next paying job requires an I-9.
Not funny, El.
If you're here to help, there's some aprons in the back, you can bus some tables.
I don't know what that means. Anyway, I'm here to engage you in a teeny-weeny, almost nonexistent favor.
I'm a little busy here, El.
Well, not now, obviously. After work. Okay, look, I need to break into WPK to take my name off the fabricated accounting reports, and I don't exactly know how to work my way around a lock-pick.
And I do?
Oh, well, you didn't have a problem MacGyvering your way around your dad's highly-secured mansion.
Wow, I never thought I'd see Starkiller's Truce with Ella Simms.
And I never thought they could stretch out the search for a missing galaxy into two and a half hours.
2,000 big ones. That's awfully generous of you.
Oh, well, you know how passionate I am about the environment.
This is a fundraiser for a school program.
Whatever.
[after breaking into Gabe's office at WPF] The only thing we need now is the code. [Ella shows him the key code she took from Gabe] I'm not even gonna ask how you got this.
Let's just say my stock soared in the geek community today, no thanks to Jonah, who wanted nothing to do with this.
Like you didn't know what you were getting into when you set your sights on a guy with Jonah's moral center.
It might have occurred to me. Only to be complicated by the fact that I find his moral center one of his most adorable attributes.
Ella Simms... you realize that you just said "adorable", right?
I don't know what's wrong with me. Today at the fundraiser, I actually felt this twinge of jealousy.
Who would have thought that Jonah Miller would be the one to pierce the infamous Ella Simms' Kevlar?
[appears as a ghostly hallucination to Amanda] Tell me something. When you tracked Auggie down, how did you get him to tell you where he left the painting? Did you pay him or did you sleep with him?
Sydney?
Who else is gonna tell you all those things you don't wanna hear?
You're not real. Go away.
You can't get rid of me that easily.
Just watch me.
Careful. You're gonna wanna be razor-sharp when you break into Dr. Six-Pack's apartment and search his closet.
Don't you worry, Sydney. I'm not a perpetual screw-up like you. I get what I want.
I wouldn't be so cocky. [Amanda turns around and the hallucination is gone]
Welcome back, Amanda. We were all wondering where you disappeared to.
Is that why you broke into these offices in the middle of the night?
Wow. I am flattered that you of all people think I'm that devious. But really, me? A cat burglar? Please.
I found a couture button by my computer beside a strand of blond hair. I could tell by the split end it wasn't mine. What do you think you are, some kind of Prada ninja?
Do you really just expect me to sit back and let my boss frame me for a crime that I didn't commit? I mean, seriously. All I've ever been is fiercely loyal. All I've ever done is worked my ass off to make you happy. I mean, why am I your crash test dummy?
Because you have a proven track record of veering across moral lines. The perfect profile for a serial embezzler.
My God. How did I ever look up to such a desperate, washed-up bitch?
[slaps Ella] Get out of my building. You're fired.
[catches Amanda sneaking around in Auggie's former apartment] Now who's the Prada ninja?
Do I look like a cat burglar?
Well, you certainly don't look like the cable guy.
Not that I have to explain myself, but Jane gave me the master key to check on all the pilot lights.
Huh. I see. So you have no interest in the little wall decoration that used to be in here?
What kind of wall decoration are you talking about?
Oh, I don't know, just some old painting of a Dutch guy in a goofy hat. It's probably not worth that much. I was thinking I was gonna sell it on Craigslist.
[after Jonah told Ella he kissed Riley after the NYU mixer] Jonah, I told you upfront that I wasn't gonna be your rebound.
You weren't. You're not. Ella, I really care about you a lot.
Okay, no, Jonah, just—just stop, okay? You come off as this—this sweet, sensitive, honest guy, the type of guy that would never break a girl's heart in a million years.
Ella, look, I never, ever meant to hurt you. I swear.
Oh, you know what? Thank you. Seriously. Because of you, I've realized that maybe monogamy isn't the end of life as we know it. Maybe I... maybe I can be in a real relationship. Just not with you.
[to Ella, while getting arrested by FBI agents] You say you modeled your career after me, studied my every move. Then you know this war is just the beginning.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Melrose Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
