All right, I've had it! You two are banned from Nintendo.
OK! We're already banned from Nintendo.
[to audience] The sad thing is, he thinks he's outsmarted her.
[After finding out Francis escaped]
Mom, I think he's okay. [Lois looks up, Malcolm turns to the camera] Uh-oh, tactical error.
What do you mean?
I mean, he's always okay.
Malcolm, I know you like Francis as much as we do, so if you have any idea...
Oh, for God's sake. [to Malcolm] WHERE IS HE!!!
He came here to see Beebee. He's meeting her tonight. [to the camera] Oh my God, how did she do that?
I knew it. When did you talk to him?
Don't look at her eyes. Don't look at her... [Lois grabs Malcolm's head to face towards her] This morning and Dewey shoved a sandwich in the VCR.
Fate is just what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.