I'm trying to tie up the loose ends, Floyd, you know, like those TV detectives.
S1 E13All Roads Lead to Floyd
[after Higgins' dogs each deliver a note to his door] First note was from Cindy. She said Higgins was going to the club, and she'd asked if she could tag along. She hoped I didn't mind. And then she thanked me again for helping her, and told me I was wonderful. The second note was from Higgins. I really can't repeat what he said. Let me put it this way –- he didn't think I was wonderful.
S1 E16The Black Orchid
[narrates] I know what you're thinking. After the phoney beach attack, I should have said goodbye to Louise. But you know something, I was starting to have a good time. Maybe she wasn't the only one who had fantasies about famous detectives who are heroes.
S1 E17J. "Digger" Doyle
[A kid drops off Higgins' resignation and the car]
Did he tip you?
KKid
$20.
That's not Higgins, Thomas.
S1 E18Beauty Knows No Pain
[narrating] Hawaii's like every sensual woman I've ever known. She can have raging, violent bursts of temper, followed by incredible calm and peacefulness. Today was one of those days of true serenity, when even the great tourist wave seems to recede. I mean, I couldn't believe the stillness.
S2 E1Billy Joe Bob
As you may have noticed, I've fired the groundskeeper. Until I can find a successor, I'd like you to assume some of the responsibilities.
But Higgins, I don't know the first thing about gardening!
I assure you, the kind of work I had in mind requires no intelligence what so ever.
Like what?
Like distributing 1500 lbs. of recycled vegetation that was delivered this morning.
Recycled vegetation!? What do you mean 'recycled vegetation'? Recycled how?
[smiles] Through a cow.
S2 E2Dead Man's Channel
You better be right, sweetheart.
Come on, when have I ever been wrong?
I can't count that high.
This was one of those days I wish I'd listened to my mother and studied to be an orthodontist. Looking into someone's mouth has gotta be better than staring death in the face.
S2 E3The Woman on the Beach
After the war, the Cliffords suffered some sort of a disgrace. They were ostracized from society. I don't imagine you'd understand that sort of thing, would you, Magnum? On the other hand, perhaps you would.
[narrating] If I believed in ghosts, I'm sure I'd be frightened by now, but, since I didn't, the pounding in my chest must have been due to exertion.
[narrating] If any place looked like it should be haunted, it was the old Clifford Estate. The overgrowth and the cobwebs were all legit. Not that I was scared; but I did make a point of going in the daytime.
S2 E4From Moscow to Maui
Um, T.M., did you come up with this plan all by your lonesome?
Yeah. What's the matter?
I don't know. Well, I don't know yet. I just keep remembering the plan you had to get all the POW's out of Cambodia.
T.C., there is no comparison between that plan and this one.
I hope not. I don't need any more scars.
[to Yuri] Remember I told you I didn't like getting egg on my face? Well, right now, I'm wearing a whole omelet.
S2 E5Memories Are Forever
[narrating] Dreams are supposed to represent your subconscious wishes and conflicts. It's sort of a private movie you write, produce and direct. Only you can't hide your eyes in your dreams, even when they are scaring you to death.
S2 E7Tropical Madness
[To Rick] A formal complaint has been lodged with you in regarding both unbecoming behavior and flagrant violations of the club's dress code.
Oh come on Higgins, I'm clean. I'm on the beach.
It's interesting how the guilty party defends himself, even before he's been accused.
Oh, Thomas is usually accused before there's a complaint...That came out wrong, didn't it?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Magnum, P.I. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.