Magnum, P.I. quotes

175 total quotes



Higgins: [to T.C.] You ran through a pen, striking Mr. Platt, who was chasing a pig. It's so... Magnum-esque. The body has departed, but the spirit has remained behind to haunt me. Why?

Higgins: For a moment, I failed to remember that the ways of a gentleman are patently foreign to you. I revere words like honor, integrity, chivalry -- words that are clearly not in your vocabulary.
Magnum: Higgins, enough! Knocking my rubber chicken or my sloppy habits is within the rules, but you're attacking my character. I would like to think you don't mean that.
Higgins: Yes, I'm sorry. It's just that you can't know what it's like to care deeply for someone and have your hope taken.
Magnum: Yes, I can.

Higgins: I, of course, have spent many a Christmas away from home and family. More times than I care to remember, in more places than I care to remember; Forgotten battlefields, and sometimes even forgotten wars. I think being at war, makes Christmas all the more bittersweet - peace on earth, and goodwill to all men, and all that.

Higgins: Magnum, I'm very busy placating the guests. Now, will you please send Rick and T.C., away and assume the character of a reasonably competent security person? Only you and I will know you're acting.

Higgins: Magnum, stop living in the past.
Magnum: Me? Me?! Higgins, you've enshrined yours. You quote every boring war story like it was carved in stone.
Higgins: Boring?
Rick: Don't worry, Higgins, I like your stories.
T.C.: Yeah, me too.
Higgins: I do think I tell them with a certain panache.

Higgins: You know lads, I sometimes view myself as a later-day Job, constantly being tested by our Creator. How else could I possibly justify four major wars, dozens of minor conflicts, seven natural disasters, and...
Magnum: Aha! Double play Tigers!
Higgins: ...Him.

Luther: [narrating] I was beginning to get the feeling that I was stuck with the big guy for the duration. The only thing more depressing than that was this case, because we'd run out of leads. You try being a detective with no leads. It's like a tailor without a needle, or Godzilla without Tokyo, or...
Magnum: [narrating] A bad guy without a motive.
Luther: Did you say something?
Magnum: What?...Nope.

Magnum: [narrating] Hawaiian sunsets are among the most breathtakingly beautiful in the world. Grandly vibrant, uniquely different every day, they paint a palette with boundaries that stop only at the horizons of one's imagination. However, when the sun goes down, it looks the same all over the world. Whether you're in Milwaukee or Maui, it's dark.
Season 5

Magnum: [narrating] I've always felt at home on the ocean, even as a kid. Maybe that's why I spend so much time alone on it, even on the 4th of July. I know, the Fourth should be spent with your buddies drinking beer, or eating hot dogs at the ballpark, or hoping into a potato sack race with your best girl, or barbequing in the back yard with your folks. Maybe for most Americans, but for me it's been a day to spend alone, to remember. So, here I was all alone on the ocean starting my annual Independence Day remembrance. At least I wouldn't get my fingers blown off by a cherry bomb.

Magnum: [narrating] In my dad's day it was pool halls. Me? I sometimes hung out in pinball arcades. And these days a lot of kids lose themselves in computer explosions of lights and sounds. But whatever your game, you could always count on one thing in places like these; you could, in the space of a couple of hours, temporarily escape the problems of the outside world.

Magnum: [narrating] In that Armyâ€Navy game, where I went 21-30, one of the passes I missed was intercepted. The fastest man on the Army team caught it, and he got past everybody, until I was the only guy left who had a chance to catch him. The guy was faster than me, and I knew it, but I wasn't going to get beat by my own mistake.

Magnum: [narrating] It's kind of funny how the years can sometimes creep by on you, two or three at a time, and nothing much changes. You're in a routine, and all that you really get is a little older, until whammo! -- you get a big three hundred and sixty-five that sometimes sets you right on your ear, changes everything. I guess 1979 was that kind of year for me. I resigned from the Navy, and I became a private investigator. Of course, that's a big over-simplification. Actually, there was a little more to it than that. There was Karen Teal, for example. The best woman surfer of 1979, and '8, and '7, and '6. Karen was the best. She always won, no matter who she went up against, and I really think it was that way because her love for life brought out the best in her. I know that because a long time ago, Karen Teal brought out the best in me. It seemed like only yesterday.

Magnum: [narrating] Ms. Wagner, my 11th grade English teacher, created a scandal in my hometown when she put All the King's Men on our mandatory reading list. She said she wanted us to understand the fatal attraction some men have for the very thing that will destroy them. Her love for the book got her fired and I never quite understood the attraction she was talking about, until the first day I saw Alex Carter and the way T.C. was looking at her.

Magnum: [narrating] My dad once told me that life is a trick done with mirrors. You look at something from one direction, it looks like one thing; you turn it over, it looks like something else. I guess he was right. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's a real friend, and who's just an illusion in glass.

Magnum: [narrating] Once, when I was a kid, three older guys decided to beat me up for no apparent reason. I held my own until a fourth showed up. And from that day on, I vowed that three was my limit, particularly when I didn't know what I was fighting about.