Magnum, P.I. quotes

175 total quotes

Higgins: Don't ruin my whiskey with ice! I'm not a bloody American!

Higgins: Magnum, feed the lads, would you? There are steaks in the freezer. [Magnum makes an excited face] Very well, you can have one too.

Higgins: Stop. Whatever you are doing, stop it.
T.C.: Hi, Higgins.
Higgins: Don't "Hi, Higgins" me. Just get you and your juvenile delinquents out of here.

Higgins: You have to get into the safe first, Magnum.
Magnum: [wiggles eyebrows] I know.

J.J. Stein: I told him. I told that lousy writer that that scene was sick. I didn't even enjoy reading it. No. He insisted we keep it in. Damn writers.

Karen Wolfe: [to Magnum] So, a woman can't go out like a man, huh? She takes pills. Swims out to sea or slits her wrists, but she ain't got the guts to blotto the old face, isn't that what you said Tony, huh? Here's one woman who's going to take it right between the big blues, just to show you how smart you really are.

Magnum: [after Higgins' dogs each deliver a note to his door] First note was from Cindy. She said Higgins was going to the club, and she'd asked if she could tag along. She hoped I didn't mind. And then she thanked me again for helping her, and told me I was wonderful. The second note was from Higgins. I really can't repeat what he said. Let me put it this way â€- he didn't think I was wonderful.

Magnum: [narrates] I know what you're thinking. After the phoney beach attack, I should have said goodbye to Louise. But you know something, I was starting to have a good time. Maybe she wasn't the only one who had fantasies about famous detectives who are heroes.

Magnum: [narrates] So far this case had cost me my right to the wine cellar, the last cash in my pocket, and nearly my life. If that clerk was lying to me, I was gonna come back down here and shove that Robin Masters paperback in his ear!

Magnum: [narrates] There are times when one human being really shouldn't take advantage of another... but this wasn't one of them.

Magnum: [narrating] Hawaii's like every sensual woman I've ever known. She can have raging, violent bursts of temper, followed by incredible calm and peacefulness. Today was one of those days of true serenity, when even the great tourist wave seems to recede. I mean, I couldn't believe the stillness.
Season 2

Magnum: Higgins, you yo-yo!

Magnum: I'm not an intruder, I'm a guest!
Higgins: Guests eventually leave.

Magnum: I'm trying to tie up the loose ends, Floyd, you know, like those TV detectives.

T.C.: [Looks at the screen] Did it ever occur to you that boy can not count past one?