Mad Season 1 quotes

Bahamas!

[buzzing sound] Ooh, I'm sorry; it's "bananas"! [bell rings]

Bananas? Oh, mother of pearl.

[monkeys spin the wheel, storms out] I quit!

Oh, I love watching the tide roll out using the most interesting things: shells, driftwood; [gulps, sees a human head]

And now I got sand in my ear.

Totally not scary! [they scream, saw a saw blade, slices the log in half and everyone came off]

You said I wanted Tummy Tuck, not Duck!

[finding celebrities in houses] Matthew McCaughey, are you my... Chris Evans, are... Hugh Jackson... Halle... Brad... Mr. Krabs...

The Mickey Mouse Mouse Exterminator Service: This war is for you! [throws a grenade at the screen, explodes, turns white]

[Scrat breaks the ice] Wow, thanks for saving me! [Scrat takes the nut] Hey, come back! I...oh, well. At least The Avengers will find me. Who else gets to lead their team?

Clifford's Notes. We'll be a well read kid thanks to the Big Red Dog. If he speaks his language, that is.

He's not Santa!

Just watch! [blasts a rocket gun in the direction]

You missed!

Did I?

My tree looks awesome! Thank you!

Hi, I'm Richard Donner. I directed the first Superman movie. You know, good one.

[seeing the vandalized car] What the...who did this to my car?

Merry Christmas, Charlie Sheen! [humming]

Get out of here, you lousy kids! I told you, one more time and I'm calling the cops!

Our best picture: Red Delicious, Aftershave, A Fistful of Figs, Margarine...wait, they're telling me this is just my grocery shopping lift. No wonder I always thank the Oscar approval.

If anyone here knows the reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or... [before he tries to finish, an arrow spears through his body] call me a doctor. [turns to dust]

Somebody hired a slayer?

[as Buffy stabs him] You can't kill me with wood! I am wood! [slices him with an ax]