Mad Season 1 quotes

That's not what Christopher Cool-umbus says.

Hey, I'd say the Earth is funky! [plays a guitar]

Magic, uh...gel. I mean, pet...d'oh! Why didn't I give this stuff away?

[jazz music plays] They should not have done that! [slices the chandelier, smashes the TV with a pickaxe, storms out the door]

Kirby's Star Tours. We knew what you meant, but how else are we gonna get your money?

Hey, look; I built a house! Plus, I made this new friend! [creeper grows, house explodes] Oh, I lost my house; and my friend. Oh, look; a new friend! [creeper grows, explodes and dies]

You call this head "well done"? It's still blinking for crying out loud! Put him back in the furnace!

Dear Betty, you will die at sea.

Trick or Treat!

Awww! Look at you! You're a scary skeleton!

I got him!

Like, great work Fred!

You captured the Sidewalk Skeleton!

But he's not really a skeleton at all! He's really…

Little Bobby Wallace?!

Looks like little Bobby was scaring people into giving him candy by dressing up as a skeleton.

Of course he was! It's Halloween! Y-you can't just…

Look, gang!

Ah!

It's the Lawn Witch! Get her!

[screams]

Nice try, evil witch! Or should I say...Mary Williams from the Old Williams' House?!

[tears role down her cheek] I just wanted to Trick or Treat!

Look, it's the Grim Reaper

Let's get him!

The Scooby-Doo Gang, Ruining Halloween since 1969!

This Halloween, prepare to be frightened with... (evil laughter) VeggieTales from the Crypt! (evil laughter again) Join me, the Keeper of the Crisper, for some rotten and juicy tales of morality. Like this one.

Ha-ha! You're so short, you're just a baby.

It's not nice to be a bully.

Oh yeah? Why not?

Because baby carrots grow up to be...

MONSTER CARROTS!

(evil laughter) There's a healthy serving of justice! And there'll be plenty more ghoulish stories on this week's episode of--

Ugh, how long has this been in here?

No! Wait! I've got a show with everything!

We did it, guys! [people's bodies sliced themselves, remaining their feet intact] Oh, no, not again! You saw what happened, right? They-They fell. Let's just get our stories straight.

Hey, I'm Vance, and if you got dirt, I've got news for you: (in slow motion) YOU'RE A SLOB!!! (normal) Heh, just kidding, but there's no better way to clean up messes and entertain your kids than with SpongeWOW!

Hi, everybody!

You ready to clean the house, SpongeWOW?

Am I ev-- Wait, what? I was told there was a party!

[spills his juice] Uh-oh! How'd that happen?

Well, you just knocked over those bottle---- (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the spilt juice) Hey, hey, hey!

Luckily, SpongeWOW can absorb anything.

(gargled) Watch it!

You mean watch it disappear? HEY-OH!

Don't Hey-OH that!

See, clean in seconds! But would you look at this? Looks like someone accidentally spilled a dozen bottles of non-FDA approved hot sauce all over this counter.

Someone?!? It was you! (Announcer grabs SpongeWOW and rubs him on the hot sauce) Hey, hey, hey! What are you--

Not a problem for SpongeWOW!

Speak for yourself! It's burning!

Did you know that the average person spends up to $900 a week on napkins?

That's a lie!

Well, for just $19.99, you get a SpongeWOW that you can use over and over again.

Kill me now...

And if you wanna clean those floors while also amusing those tweens, try our new Moppit.

Hey kids, someone having a birthday?

RUN!!!

(Screams and runs away)

Get back here! The SpongeWOW and Moppet, available where unsuspecting kids' characters hang out.

Let's not fight. There's enough humans for both of us. [Justin Bieber uses his peace ray]

That only worked once. [eats Justin Bieber]

I love you, Twilight.

What about my other movie, Water for Elephants?

No, it's not!

[slaps Ben Stiller in the face] Yeah, it is!

[inside the statue of Liberty] Whoo! I won an Oscar, baby! [the statue's head falls down]