Mad quotes

Excuse me, buddy; I think your "fly" is down.

Yeah, I know. I told you he couldn't go to Europe for the summer.

Why? [cries, barfs]

This fall: When fear strikes, love turns foul. No, no, no. Wait, uh... when you see a bat, make a run for home. No, no, forget that. When you give this time, it's time to play. Wow! These are awful. Oh, wait; hang on, no. The Umpire Diaries: You're only in when you're out. Yes, right? No? Look, we'll get this if it takes all night. I don't care.

They're at the top of their game at the bottom of the ninth. Wow, these are not getting any better. You gotta play the field 'til the 7th inning smooch. How long is this show?

Yeah, about 1/2 inch off the bottom, keep the layers, trim the banks, no hair touching the ear, and; uh, watch out for this cowlick here. [The barber trims off the hair two-thirds]

Like that?

Not exactly! No!

Cinnamon Bear Traps!

Ow!

[burping] Oh! Stomach hurt!

How many times have he tossed his cookies?

I will count the times! One, one puke! Two, two pukes! [lightning flashes] Three-- [Mickey swipes the number with the cane and pushes him against the wall] If you don't can it, you'll be counting the number of stitches I put in your face!

Ah, yes.

He's getting worse and these X-rays are baffling.

Me like cookies.

He's lying! And I'll prove it by adducing him to vomit.

How will you do that?

Mouse, are you crazy?! You'll lose your license!

Not before he loses his lunch.

Ohh! Me so sick of Spencer Pratt. [vomits on Mickey]

One puke! (More of Cookie Monster's barf flies) Two pukes!

Three pukes!

Just as I suspected! Broccoli. You've been eating vegetables and your body is rejecting them.

Okay, okay. Me try to eat healthier without anyone knowing. I mean, me Cookie Monster; not Veggie Monster.

I'm led to believe that the man called "The Grinch" stole all your things and took off on a pinch. He cracked his whip on an antique sleigh, and knew the right codes to get out the same way.

You found all that out from the desk in his room?

Not really.

Said Cage.

I just watched the cartoon. (Pulls out a DVD of the cartoon)

When all of a sudden, a blanket of snow Covered the men from their heads to their toes. It was the Grinch himself, who arrived with the stuff.

You're lying!

He said.

And I'm calling you bluffs. From that story you told was sure to surmise, That the bandits you seek are really you guys. See, I found that old sled that I supposedly used To steal all the gifts from all of the Whos. But if memory serves, and the truth might just sting, It's you who has access to antique things. (points to Nicholas Cage) And that whipping you heard came from old Doctor Jones, While the code-meister here broke into your homes.

And everybody loves SpongeBob, except for when he's not wearing his makeup.

Jacob!

Excuse me? [a flash mob attacks him] No! No! Wait! You've got it all wrong! [the mob exits] Big Bad Wolf: Man, i hate those movies.

I'm not gonna fight a bunch of old [bleep]!

Did he said the M word?

Munchkins?

No, the other one!

I said old men. I don't even know why they bleeped it.

Dwarves, begin musical attack!

Hohaah!

Oh, no, you don't!

[to the viewers] One mom to rule them all.

♪ Slop n' Shop, your favorite GROSS-ery store ♪

On sale this week at Slop N' Shop: Mac and Sneeze. Fish Icks. Troll House Cookies. Goat Meal... and Jiffy Poop!

♪ Slop n' Shop, your favorite GROSS-ery store ♪

The Thingy! Coming soon-ish or some-Thingy. Duh, I don't think it's written yet, to be honest.

Hey, man. I totally aced that test!

High five, no; wait... [explodes]