Lucifer · Season 1
[an actor playing a character 'inspired' by Lucifer] But let me tell you something. I've been doing this job for seven episodes now, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's why people kill.
Oh?
It's 'cause they yearn for something. You want to find the killer, figure out their yearning.
Right. Isn't there a better word for that?
No.
[As Lucifer and Chloe are searching a motel room, the lead actors from Lieutenant ¡Diablo! burst in.]
[simultaneously] Freeze! L.A.P.D.! Drop the gun!
[a beat]
Wait. I'm a real cop with a real gun. That's a prop. Put it down.
[an actress playing a character loosely based on Chloe] Sorry. Force of habit. [chuckles]
Well, that little showdown will be fueling my fantasies for the next few millennia.
All right. I get it, Detective. You're struggling with feeling like you can't cope. Well, welcome to the bloody club!
You have no right to yell at me. Our situations are nothing alike. You are a angel. You deal with celestial craziness all the time. I am just a person, Lucifer. Just a person who was already dealing with the fact that I'm in love with the Devil, and then.... I find out that I was made... to feel that way. [getting emotional] That my life isn't my own, so I am sorry if your brother is a jerk to you sometimes.
Lucifer, that ring is the only thing in the entire Universe that means anything to me. I'm going to get it back. And you are going to help me.
Uh-huh. And why would I do that?
Because you owe me.
[realizing] Right. That. The Devil solving crime. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Sorry. Got lost in a daydream, on account of your problem being so extraordinarily boring.
[to Willy the Sausage Prince (who resembles Dan in Lucifer's retelling)] Quite a unique fellow, aren't you? There's a word to describe you, but I can't quite put my finger on it. It's like a shower, but French. Oh, I'm sure it'll come to me.
[Lucifer recaps the very complicated chain of events leading up to the various crimes, which only confuses Trixie.]
Huh?
Forget it, Trix. It's Chinatown.
It's what?
Never mind. Would you like to hear the rest of the story or not?
Lucifer told you that I was here, didn't he? You'd think the Devil would be better at keeping his trap shut.
No, I found you all on my own. Have you... been here all this time?
I gave something a shot. It didn't work out.
[Lily tries to close her door, but Maze blocks it.]
That's it? That's all you have to say to me?
What do you want from me?
I wanted to come and see you.... I wanted to know why you abandoned us. Why you abandoned me.
I did it to make you strong, and it worked. Just look at you. I can see you don't need anyone.
Yeah.... Look at me. [turns and leaves]
Let me get this straight. I just spent millennia down there diligently doing everything He asked without complaint, and you have one sleepover in Hell and Dad tells you your watch is over?
Well, you know Father works in--
If you finish that sentence, I will punch you in your "mysterious ways."
[Despite complaining about sloughing through paperwork with Dan, Lucifer discovers a clue in the victim's phone records.]
I gotta tell Chloe.
Well, as long as it speeds things along.
It actually might be a new lead. Great work, Lucifer.
Take that back!
Why would Destiny Page (a pop singer) be calling a nun at a convent that she wants to buy?
[mildly enthused] Well, her latest album was a testament to a new-found faith, and the one that she's working on now is supposed to continue in that vein.
[Chloe gives Amenadiel a look.]
Please don't tell Lucifer.
Your secret's safe with me.
I admire you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. You hit dead end after dead end, but you still keep on searching. Doesn't deter you. In fact, it only drives you to try harder.
You make me sound like a sadist.[Amenadiel chuckles.]
Men, women, they're all drawn to (Lucifer) because he pulls out people's desires. But what if the reason that they're drawn to him is because of that?
So you're saying Lucifer... reflects people's desires back to them.
Well, who wouldn't want to be with their greatest desire?
Well, yes, I... I agree, but when I look at him, I-I-I don't see that. Which would mean...
That you're the only mortal who sees him... for who he truly is.
[gasps] So... So everything we shared and... Everything I was afraid was a manipulation--
Is as real as it gets. You're not 'the gift', Chloe. That is.
Lucifer, if thats true, if you choose to be vunerable around me, then i choose to be vunerable around you. [ they both lean forward and kiss]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
