Lucifer · Season 1
By chance, do you have any idea how annoying it is to be an immortal human being?
I can't say that I do.
Oh, well, let me enlighten you. You see, first you get to watch everyone you love die, over and over. And that sucks. And on top of that, it's boring. I've been everywhere there is to go, I've tried every kind of food. Sex, music... Nothing surprises me anymore,
Have you tried Game of Thrones?
[Cain threatens to kill an innocent human if Amenadiel won't remove his mark.]
You wouldn't.
I killed my own brother. What makes you think I wouldn't kill some random person to finally have peace? Maybe the guy wearing the scarf indoors, no one will miss him.
Miss Lopez puts a lot of faith in you, and losing that faith would hurt her. And I won't allow that to happen.
[hands over a bag of stolen diamonds] I'll get my act together, I promise.
No need to promise, Jay Lopez. Because I'll be watching you, and if you ever disappoint her again, [eyes glimmer for a second] I'll come for you.
Daniel. Your head is mostly empty.
[distracted] Huh?
Exactly, and yet you manage to do this improv thing.
Who's Todd Cornwell?
Exacty. Todd Cornwell... Class loner, acne, Coke-bottle glasses, whole bit. Went to college overseas, and when I stalked Kathleen's classmates online, Todd was the only one with zero social media presence.
Lucifer. You could go as Todd.
Yeah. No, seriously. Look, he looks just like you.
Has all that masturbation finally caught up with your eyesight, Daniel? No one would believe that, even if I tell them I've had a face and body transplant.
You know, a high school reunion is a very popular torture in Hell.
Back up. My brother is in Hell?
Yes, of course. In fact, he's our oldest tenant.
I knew it. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people? Abel is the asshat. No one ever believes me.
Well, how much do you hate your brother on a scale of one to ten?
One thousand, infinity, plus one.
[Lucifer has been stabbed in the shoulder by someone threatening Chloe.]
What were you thinking, tackling somebody with a knife?
It's not me I was worried about, Detective.
I know the only thing that matters to you more than Chloe—you. Easiest way to spin you around is to delve into those daddy issues. "I can't get rid of my wings! Daddy's controlling me! Wah wah wah."
The truth is, no one really knows what your Dad's responsible for. We're all just guessing. Even you. But do you know the one thing He can't control? What you do in this moment, right now. So I ask you, the Devil,.... What do you... truly desire?
.... I want her (Chloe) to choose me.
Then tell her.
[to Lucifer] You Dan Espinoza?
How dare you?
[Lucifer fights Cain, getting him in a wrist lock and trapping his knife hand]
I promised you…that I would find a way to kill you. [breaks Cain's wrist, forces his arm back to stab him with his own knife, and knocks him to the floor] I am a devil of my word!
[mortally wounded] Is Chloe okay?
She's fine. No thanks to you.
[struggling to breathe and laughing] Now that I'm dying, I don't know what I was so afraid of. I'm going to Heaven.
You really believe that?
I told you, Lucifer, I don't regret anything I've done.
Yes. But, that was before you killed Charlotte Richards.
No. No, that was an accident.
Oh, you pulled the trigger. You ended her life. You chose to kill her. Deep down, you know you're a monster…and that you belong in Hell, where you will torture yourself with that truth for eternity. 'Cause no matter what you tell yourself…you can't outrun what you've done. [his eyes glow red and the skin on his face crackles with electricity] What you truly are.
And neither can you. [he laughs, gasps, and finally expires]
. . .
[Chloe walks in and sees Lucifer crouched by Cain's body]
Lucifer? …Lucifer?
[he rises and she finally sees his devil face for the first time, realizing…]
It's all true.
[unaware] Detective?
…it's all true.
Amazing what changing one tiny detail can do. A butterfly flaps its wings, and good friends are strangers.... People accuse me of being controlling. And yes, I may have put Chloe in Lucifer's path. But what if I didn't? Would they still get together?
[to Dan] Well, if it isn't Detective Dildo of the L.A.P.D. You still out there leaving crimes unsolved?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
