This isn't gonna work.
No, I agree. A gingham pocket square can be a bit aggressive, but I'm feeling it.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Showing Eve the station] Oh, that's Daniel. He's a douche again.
Oh. Shall we punish him, too?
Believe me, his existence is punishment enough.
[Ella has discovered gold metal flakes in the wounds of a pistol-whipped murder victim.]
Golden gun. It's unique and it sounds familiar.
Yes, Roger Moore's Bond films. Perhaps our killer's Scaramanga, the man with three nipples.
Lucifer, this is not who you are. I think Eve is a bad influence on you.
This has nothing to do with her. It's who I am. I punish people.
So do I. But like I said, there is a right way and there is a wrong way.
And what makes you the authority on right and wrong?
Because I'm a cop and it's the law.
Well, I'm the Devil! [gets angrier and more agitated] I ruled Hell. Bad people were sent to me so they could get what they deserve, and it is my job to do the same here on Earth, because when I don't.... When I don't, bad things happen.
['interrogating' Eve] Where do you live?
Here.
Where are you from?
Far away. I came here for Lucifer.
Keep the commentary to yourself, lady. Have you ever been married?
Yes. It didn't work out.
How come?
We weren't right for each other.
What do you do for work?
I don't. Pretty much just get to be me.
Well,... that's kinda cool. What's your favorite color?
Red, what's yours?
I'm asking the questions.
Would you excuse me whilst I do something less mind-numbingly boring like, uh, color-sort my suits?
I have a favor to ask you. Apparently, there is a tradition here on Earth to ask someone to be a back-up parent in case something happens to the child's real parents.
Are you seriously asking me, Evil incarnate, to be the child's godfather? Ha! The irony.
Father Kinley had been asking to see me, so I finally went. [getting nervous] He told me about... a prophecy.
[scoffs] Right. What is it this time? Frogs about to start falling from the sky, or... perhaps winter is coming.
Tonight, a friend helped me realize that...[sighs] I'm great. No. You know what? I'm awesome. And... I deserve to be treated well.
You're right. And you are... so much more than awesome, Eve. You have a light inside you that brightens the world, and a smile so infectious that it captures the heart of anyone lucky enough to see it. And I'm sorry for the way that I've treated you lately. You don't deserve that.
[A teenager Amenadiel was mentoring has just been gunned down and killed.]
[icy calm] I know who did this.
I'll drive.
There is something rotten inside of me. I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of voices whispering in my ear, telling me "I. Am. Evil." [shouts] I'm drowning, Doctor! And I can't stop asking myself... [gasping]... Why do I hate myself so much?!?
Stop! "Hammer time!" [off Chloe and Lucifer's looks] 'She was killed with a hammer! Come on, guys, I've been waiting years to do that one.
[considering baby names] What about the name, uh, "Zoriel"? That's a good name for a warrior. We can call him "Zori" for short. Or "Ezekiel". "Zeke".
Yeah. Um,... I was thinking about the name... "Jack".
Hmm. Mm. [considers] Short for "Jackiel". [off Linda's look] We could definitely put that on the list. Right after "Azmortiel".
[Lucifer's body is gradually appearing more demonic.]
I can't go downstairs, Detective. Between my sunglasses, scarf and gloves, I'll look like Stevie Wonder on a snow day.
[pulls out a full-face white porcelain Devil mask] Don't worry. I got you covered.
[to a mortally-wounded Father Kinley] You... You can... you can deliver the message. This is your way of stopping the prophecy. When you head down there, you tell them to come and get their king, okay? You tell them to come and help me save Lucifer!
FKFather Kinley
[sputtering] Why... why would you think... I'm going to Hell?
Just a hunch. [Kinley dies]
I'm not gonna let you use me as am excuse to avoid dealing with what is behind all of this. You always talk about how much you hate being blamed for humanity's sins. You know, "The Devil made me do it", and I think I know why you hate it so much, because deep down, you blame yourself just as much, if not more. You have to stop taking responsibility for things you can't control. Lucifer,... you need to forgive yourself.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.