A character in Lopez vs Lopez
Played by George López
Lopez vs Lopez · 140 quotes
Most-quoted character in Lopez vs Lopez: in 84 of its 140 quotes
Most scenes with: Mayan Lopez (28), Rosie (11), Chance Lopez (6)
George LopezIt has a motor, fool. Where'd you even blow into?
Before you start blowing anything up, we should check with Chance to see if this is what he really wants. I'm sure he wants a bug party. Like, he's so excited that he started his own bug collection, and now I have to burn his sheets.
George LopezOh, those ants are my fault. I keep hot dogs under the bed. Why do you think I'm never hung over?
Chance!
I've got a bounce house! This party's about to be lit!
But what about the bugs?!
They're dead! They'll still be dead next week!
George LopezGuess he's okay with it. Wanna see a live chicken? Say hello to Hennifer Lopez!
Whoa!
George LopezDon't get too attached.
George LopezOh, that must be the rest of our guests.
What are you talking about?
George LopezWell, Rosie doesn't feel like it's a real Latino Christmas unless there's at least 10 family members.
George Lopez'Course I do. I'm Latino. I believe in ghosts, Raider Nation, and that Vick's VapoRub can cure cancer. You don't?
Quentin's a nonbeliever.
George LopezI shouldn't be in here. This is all your fault. What do you want from me, old woman? Oh, I'm sorry. Let me speak to you in your native tongue.
You are always wrong, baboso. Actually, it's more like this.
George LopezSo now we're short a player for our fantasy baseball league. I swear, some people only think of themselves!
But what about Quinten? He likes sports and he never thinks about himself.
George LopezThis is fantasy baseball, Mayan, and none of my fantasies include Quinten.
[first lines]
Gonna meet the new neighbors. I made them guacamole using avocados from their tree that hangs over our fence.
George LopezI'd love to go.
Oh, you wanna welcome them to the neighborhood too?
George LopezYeah, I'd like to welcome them to leave.
George LopezOkay, Gordo, since you couldn't go to real Farm Camp, I give you La Vaca Flaca!
Honestly, I'm fine with the store-bought milk.
George LopezWell, I'm not. So put your hands on those chichis, and let's get to squeezing.
George LopezOkay. Listen, that's not fair.
Hey, it's payback for all the times that you partied instead of being a responsible parent when I was a kid.
George LopezDamn, actually that is fair.
[first lines]
George LopezQuick, it's an emergency!
Oh, my God! What's wrong with Churro?
George LopezShe ate my beer money.
George LopezYou see, Rosie, when a man cheats, he doesn't lead with "Do you come here often? I don't, because I have a wife and kid."
So what you're saying is, you didn't just hurt me. You hurt Bunny too.
Great, so you 2 are gonna work together on music and decorations. I want a female mariachi band who know Rihanna's entire catalog off book.
George LopezThey have female mariachis? What do their grito sound like? "Ayyy, put that toilet seat down!".
[first lines]
Dad, you're getting cheese on my couch. And I can't flip the cushion over because you got chili on the other side.
George LopezIt's not my fault you keep your cushions where I keep my chili. Don't worry. I'll clean it.
George LopezI'm not worried. I'm the sniffing glue that holds this family together.
Don't be so sure. She not only let you back in her life. She opened her home to you. So when you don't respect her boundaries, it's triggering.
George LopezWow, you learned a lot in therapy.
It worked!
George LopezI guess we're both war heroes now.
[final lines]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lopez vs Lopez pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
