The enemy is in your kitchen.
And maybe while the enemy's in there he could do the dishes.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[on phone] Mom, stop it with the guilt. No, don't put dad on! I've been planning this for months it's not like I dropped a bomb on 'im. Oh dad thinks it's suicide? So be it; this is Allah's plan for me.
WWoman
Oh my …
I'm not throwing my life away, I'm moving to the Prairies!
Sarah, you're supposed to spin the news, not be the news!
I can work with the truth.
SPSarah and Popowicz
But only as a last resort.
Yes, this is a good one: "Reverend, I would like to run a mosque out of your parish hall. Would you like to tell Jesus or should I?"
How am I supposed to prepare for Ramadan when the whole town's in an uproar. What were you people thinking?
This is that convert Sarah's fault. Tell me: aren't goats more traditional than cucumbers?
You've lost me.
Can't a Muslim book a one-way flight these days without someone having to call their supervisor?
I thought you'd drag us into the modern world. Or at least the 11th century.
Yes, so did I. That's why I gave up being a lawyer
Oh. And there I thought you just sucked at that too.
You can't just sue people for no reason. Well, all right, you can but I'm not doing that anymore!
It may have been God who said "Let there be light!" but it's me who pays the electric bill.
I got a deal from the old rink. From what I hear, nothing separates men and women like Hockey Night in Canada!
Three seconds of male enlightenment. That's a new record.
FTFred Tupper
Would it kill you Muslim girls to show a bit more... uh.. cleavage? Now and then.
Would it kill you if I hit you with a cleaver?
You look like a Protestant!
Don't you mean "prostitute"?
No. I mean "Protestant".
Okay. I have to get to the clinic. But once I'm gone, just imagine that after everything mom says, I am saying "That's right!".
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Little Mosque on the Prairie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.