JJoe
Even now she could be in control of my mind.
Nobody is in control of your mind.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Ladies, please! Let's not turn this prison visit into something unpleasant.
I don't know the first thing to say to her! Or the second, or the fourth!
You missed out the third.
I know the third. "My name is Baber, sister. What is yours?"
JJoe
[in the holding cell] Boy this place looks bigger when you're sober.
Earlier I may have ransacked your office but I'm very disappointed in you.
MMayor
Is the mosque building a hydrogen bomb?
No, of course not!
MMayor
I don't understand, what other kind of bomb uses that much water?
They are not building a bomb. It's probably just the wudu.
MMayor
Oh, where you sacrifice a chicken and everybody dances around.
No, that is voodoo. This is wudu, it's a washing ritual. Befor we pray, Muslims have to wash each body part three times.
MMayor
It's like your entire religion is based on obsessive compulsive disorder.
Well, Christians have holy water.
MMayor
Yes, but we don't go spraying it around all over the place, unless there's a vampire camp.
Finally a real Imam with a beard!
Everybody reads from the same Qur'an.
Yes, but his is not the pocket book edition.
We have got the whole system on a timer so that we're not wasting power in the middle of the night.
AAli
So what powers the timer?
Some of my best friends are Muslims.
Who?
Er... Faruq... Abdul... Halal... I really don't have any Muslim friends.
I was hoping to get some pie.
We all hope for a lot of things.
Seeing is believing.
Yes, but believing is also believing and it's a lot faster.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Little Mosque on the Prairie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.