Little House on the Prairie quotes

[about Nancy] Harriet, be reasonable! This child is just... so....

She's just what, Nels?

I believe a kind word to describe her would be "impossible."

Oh, men! You just don't understand little girls.

Mrs. Oleson, I have to be honest, I don't understand, either. In just the four weeks that Nancy has been here, she's set fire to her bed, broken more windows than I can count, poured plaster into the indoor plumbing, and bitten half the children in the orphanage.

Girls will be girls.

Harriet, I believe the term is "Boys will be boys" or in this case, it should be "Monsters will be monsters!" Harriet, I don't understand you! Out of all the children in the orphanage, why her?

I don't know, but I want her.

Caroline

Cassandra, it's your turn to say grace tonight. Maybe you could remember Nancy in the blessing.

Do I have to?

Caroline

No, you don't have to, but I think it would be nice if you did.

Yes, ma'am. Dear Lord, thank you for all your blessings. Please watch over our family and gives us strength. And Lord, I'm sure you know by now that we have a new student in school. Her name is Nancy. Please help her change her ways and be nice. I know it won't be easy, so if you can't change her, just do what you feel is best. [Charles bursts out laughing; Caroline gives him a dirty look] That's about it, Lord. Thank you. Amen.

All right, Nancy. If you won't open the door, then you're going to have to listen to me. You know, I had a little girl once—very much like you. She was different from the rest of the children. All the little girls hated her because she had such pretty clothes and great big, lovely dollies. I bought them from Paris. The little boys didn't like her very much, either. I used to tell her it was because she was too mature for them….but that wasn't the truth. I'm going to tell you something, Nancy, something I've never told anyone else, not even my husband. Children hated my little Nellie because she was mean, and spoiled, and conniving. And I understood that because I was the exact same way when I was a child. So you see, Nancy, I do understand you and you don't have to change. I'll love you just the way you are. And I'll spoil you with beautiful dresses, and big lovely dollies, and all the candy you could eat! And then, maybe...maybe someday, maybe, you'll learn to love me, too. Please, Nancy. Please give me a chance to be your mother.

Nancy

[to Willie] You ripped my homework paper!

Willie

That's right, I did. And I'm gonna rip your lips off if you don't stop lying!

Nancy

MOTHER! MOTHER!

Willie

Nobody's jealous of Nancy. Nobody wants to be in the pageant because nobody likes her!

Willie!

Willie

It's true! She's mean and she's nasty. Nastier than Nellie ever was. She knew Belinda was in the ice house when I closed the door. She wanted her to get sick so she could be the star of the pageant.

Nancy

That's a lie!

Willie

No, it's the truth!

Willie, how dare you make up a story like that. Go to your room right now!

Willie

I didn't expect you to believe me. I'm only your son!

Nancy

[after finding out the truth about the mermaid booth] You let me out of here now!

Albert

Nope. You wanted to be the mermaid.

Nancy

You lied to me!

Albert

You're the last one to talk about lying. All I said was that it would be the most popular booth. Look around. Did I lie?

[voiceover] Nancy stayed in the dunk tank for the rest of the day and a lot of people said she was a good sport to do it. Oh, we knew she'd still be nasty, but she'd be better because she knew folks cared enough about her not to let her get away with things she shouldn't. So think about that the next time your folks punish you.

Albert

[about Elmer] He seems friendly enough.

Willie

Fat people are always friendly. Well, they are!

[to Jess, who isn't eating his food] Why can't you be more like Elmer?

Leave him alone, will you?

Elmer!

Why do you make him eat all the time? Do you want him to get fat and have all the kids make fun of him, and not have any friends? Is that what you want? Well, maybe he's just not hungry! [storms out]

What on Earth has gotten into that boy?

Sounds like good sense to me.

Is this your idea of a joke, Nancy?!

Nancy

Mr. Wilder! I had no idea!

What do you mean?! Isn't this your homework?!

Nancy

NO!!!!!! I mean yes! It is... but I...!

In the corner!

Nancy

What?!

IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!!

Nancy, please! There must have been some mistake, I swear!

Nancy

Don't ever talk to me again, you big fat slob!

Albert

[to Elmer] I thought it was mean to call you those names, but you seemed to enjoy it. Maybe if you had asked us to stop, things wouldn't have gotten so bad. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying we all have our faults. Isn't that right, Nancy?

Nancy

Mother and I spent hours trying to think of one for me and we couldn't come up with a single solitary fault.

Nancy

Give me that ball!

NO!!!!!!

Nancy

I said give it to me!

NO!!!!!!

Nancy

Well if you won't let me pitch, I want to be the captain!

You're not on my team!

Nancy

Albert, I want to play!

Albert

Not on my team!

Nancy

Oh we'll just see about that! Elmer! Elmer, Albert won't let me... ELMER!!!!

Sorry, Nancy. You have to work things out for yourself from now on.

Charles

Jed, I can't believe you're saying this to me! First, you talk about giving the children a choice--

If everything had turned out the way I planned, things would be kinder all around.

Charles

Kinder? Don't you tell me about kinder! Things don't turn out the way you want and then you want to take my children!

I'm sorry, I truly am. But Charles, take my advice. Don't go up against me, because you won't win.

Charles

We'll see about that. You bring your judge and you bring your lawyer. We'll see about that!

Harriet

[during the court proceedings for James and Cassandra] Oh, how I wish I could be a little fly on that wall!

Nels

So do I. Flies have a tendency to get swatted.