Nels quotes from Little House on the Prairie

Nels

[smiles] Astonishing.

Harriet

[during the court proceedings for James and Cassandra] Oh, how I wish I could be a little fly on that wall!

Nels

So do I. Flies have a tendency to get swatted.

Nels

[about Nancy] Harriet, you are finally going to have to do something about that child. I don't know what, but during the last two weeks, she's gotten almost as bad as when she first came here.

Harriet

[hears Nancy slamming and breaking things upstairs] Oh, dear. Nels, what's she done now?

Nels

Well, among other things, she poured ink all over Willie's head.

Harriet

Oh, the poor child. You know, Nels, she probably....she probably isn't getting enough attention.

Nels

Not enough attention? That's all she gets is attention! Something has got to be done!

Nellie

I can't get over that essay. Nancy truly views herself as a helpless victim, surrounded by people who hate her.

Nels

Every day, we prove to her the exact opposite. How could she possibly think that?

Nellie

I don't know, but Mother's always saying how much Nancy looks like me.

Nels

It's true.

Nellie

Well, maybe she thinks that's the only reason you adopted her.

Nels

Well, I admit it started out that way, but it's not true anymore.

Nellie

Then I think you need to prove it to her.

Nels

How?

Nellie

I'm not sure, but she did get ignored a lot since I've arrived.

Nels

She did?

Nellie

Think about it. I guess it was a time when we should have made an extra effort to pay more attention to her.

Nels

[to Harriet] You deliberately snubbed Doc Baker.

Harriet

Oh, did I?

Nels

Yes! He's a fine man, and he's a--

Harriet

He's a quack! That's what he is!

Nels

He's a friend of mine! And as long as he is, you will be civil to him.

Harriet

Oh, is that so?

Nels

Yes, that's so. And please keep your totally irresponsible opinions of him to yourself.

Harriet

Irresponsible?!?!?

Nels

Yes!

Harriet

That man should thank his stars that he is walking around free, and not behind bars where he belongs. Why, he as much as murdered Laura's child!

Nels

That's not true!

Harriet

It is true! And Laura herself believes it!

Nels

Laura is a disturbed person! A person in her condition has got to have somebody to blame. Time will bring her around, but you have no reason to--

Harriet

You listen to me, Nels Oleson and you listen with both of your ears! The town has turned against Doc Baker.

Nels

With no small thanks to you, I'm sure.

Harriet

Because he's incompetent, that's why! Can't you get it through your head? I will never, and our children will never go into his office ever again because if we do, that's irresponsible! [storms out]

Nels

[about Rachel and Willie's wedding] Brings back memories, doesn't it, Harriet? Remember how upset my mother was? She didn't want me to quit college and get married. I believe she said that it would ruin my life. But she was wrong. Marrying you was the smartest thing I ever did.

Harriet

Do you really mean that?

Nels

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

Willie

[about not going to college and marrying Rachel] You don't think I'm doing the right thing, do you?

Nels

Son, if it feels right to you, then it's right. You've got to live your own life, not your mother's or mine.

Willie

You mean that?

Nels

Of course I mean it. And congratulations. You've picked yourself a fine young lady.

Willie

I know.

Harriet

Nels?

Nels

Yes, dear?

Harriet

Can I ask you something?

Nels

Yes, dear.

Harriet

Am I fat?

Nels

Yes, dear.