Life With Derek quotes

Derek: I mean what has she been doing flirting with that André? I bet his name was Andrew when he moved from Buffalo.

Edwin: Actually no, his brother Serge is in my class. So, unless they're a fake French family.

Derek: It's possible!

Nora: George, you've got to make them come down.

George: You mean toss one over each shoulder and carry them downstairs?

Nora: Ah, don't be silly. You're not nearly strong enough.

Casey: I know nothing about football.

Kendra: So? Just say, "great game" if they win and "terrible game" if they lose.

Casey: Please, I can't fake it. He'll find out I don't know my kick-ups from my touch-ons!

Kendra: Um, you mean kickoffs and touchdowns.

Casey: Edwin, Lizzie, come on out!

Edwin: We're not in here!

Lizzie: Edwin, Casey already knows we're in here.

Casey: Lizzie, Jamie's waiting for you and Edwin, there are a lot of girls for you to dance with downstairs.

Lizzie: Now I'm definitely not coming out!

Edwin: Me neither.

Derek: Who died!?

Casey: See for yourself.

(Derek looks into the living room)

Marti: So then the little pig said "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" And what did the wolf say? Anyone? Anyone?

Derek: You called me home because the party died!?

Teddy: (to Derek) I know you don't know me. But I know about you. The lies, the cons, the scams. Edwin has told me everything. You're sort of my (sarcastically) inspiration.

Derek: (sarcastically) Really? Then untie me and I'll inspire you some more.

Derek: (shouting) Come out here you cowards and face the music!

Casey: Derek, what's going on? Are the kids OK?

Derek: The kids are far from OK.

Casey: Wha...

Lizzie: Casey!

Marti: Casey!

Edwin: Casey! (they run to Casey and hug her fearfully)

Casey: Derek, what have you done to the children?!

Derek: Me?! I didn't do anything...yet! Perhaps you'd be interested to know what they did to me.

Marti: Well, at least we had fun with Teddy.

Edwin: Where is Teddy?

Derek: (hysterically): Teddy is still here?! TEDDY!

Casey: Who's Teddy?

(Derek wakes up tied to his chair)

Derek: (slightly freaked) What's going on? (sees Teddy in front of him) Who are you?

Teddy: (menacingly) I'm your worst nightmare... and your biggest fan... Teddy.

Derek: Let's celebrate this agreement with cold pizza and milk of the chocolate variety.

Casey: (excitedly) Is Derek moving out!?

Derek: (picks up his clean sock and sniffs it) They smell like the rainforest.

Casey: Yeah, they do.

Derek: SWEET!

Casey: Sweet? But she touched everything.

Derek: Yea, remind me to tip her.

Casey: Derek, does my mom look like a maid to you?

Derek: You're right, we should get her a uniform!

George: What are you doing here?

Derek: Same reason you're here (smirks at Edwin) To laugh at Ed's pants...

Edwin: Hey!

Derek: And to help Nora.

(Casey has finished emptying her giant lunch Nora made.)

Klink: Did you rob a health food store?

Casey: Oh no, no. Would anyone like a fruit bar? Or yogurt bar? Or trail mix bar?

Klink: How 'bout a nut bar?

Casey: Oh, don't think I have those.

Casey: You can't do that!

Derek: Actually I have to, it's my job.

Derek (to Casey): Good, because I don't want to hear how I am ruining your new job, yada yada yada, blah blah blah, (high-pitched) DER-EK!