Life With Derek · Season 1
(looks at Casey) Ahhh! (looks down at his boxers) Ahhh! (runs out as Derek walks in)
Come on, Smarti. (takes Marti out of bathtub)
Smerek...
(towards Casey) Do you mind?
Yeah. I was here first.
Ok, then. (Derek starts to get ready to go to the toilet)
UGH! (leaves bathroom)
Not again. Can you please turn it down! Der-ek! (Derek opens the door after Casey knocks on it)
Who are you?
I'm the step-sister you've always wanted.
Really, 'cause you look like the ugly step-sister from Snow White.
That's Cinderella, you freak. Now could you turn down the music?
Oh, well why didn't you say so? (turns off the music) Now, I never had any noise complaints when Edwin had that room before he was forced upstairs to make room for you guys.
Room? What room? There is no room in our room!
I have an announcement! I'm not wearing socks!
(While telling her mother how her siblings give her no privacy)
Marti, please give me back my toothbrush.
(Marti's cleaning the tub with the toothbrush)
Say please.
I just did.
No.
Umm. this looks...
Derek': This looks disgusting. Dad, when did you start to cook?
Pigs speak Latin?
Ask Derek.
I'd shake your hand but I'm...
Derek': Sweaty and gross.
You have a step-sister?
It was a recent accident by marriage.
The family that eats together.
Barfs together.
How did this happen? How does a person who prides herself on being in total control lose it? Why am I sitting on the bathroom floor? Why is there an out of control party in my living room? The answer to all of these questions could only be: Derek.
I don't believe it! Am I really having a conversation with the bane of my existence aka Derek?
Beans, Beans, the musical food, the more you eat, the more you toot.
I never realized these things were so important to you men! Boys and girls are different, you know!
Yeah, I found that out the fun way on our old couch.
George: Derek, you failed your English test? You do speak English, right?
Derek: Very goodly.
George: What does a dog say?
Marti: Nothing, because dogs can't talk!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Life With Derek pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
