Life With Derek quotes

Derek: (Thinking) This is so boring. When is he going to stop talking? I'm hungry! I wonder what's for lunch. Maybe pizza. Yumm, pizza...

PA Announcer: Attention students, the election results are in, and for the first time, a write-in candidate has won. Congratulations...Emily Davis?!

Casey: Emily Davis?

Emily: Emily Davis?! (excitedly) I'm Emily Davis! I win!

Derek: (Singing badly) She said it was over and it was not over. She said it was over and it was not over. She said it was over and it was not over. Nah nah nah nah nah! Nah nah nah nah nah! Yeah!

(Family is stunned over his singing, execpt Edwin)

Edwin: (applauds) Encore! Encore! Encore! That was totally awesome!

Casey: Alright, Derek. You got me into this mess, you get me out.

Edwin: Casey, speaking from experience, Derek doesn't respond to demands. He prefers the big yes-man, boot-licking approach.

Casey: [exasperated] Derek, you are the guru of the sacred art of deceit. You and only you can help me in my hour of need. Please, oh Great Liar, take pity on my poor truthful soul.

Derek: Whenever somebody asks me if I've seen a movie, I always lie and say yes. That way I won't have to hear them drone on about how good it is to the point where it makes me wish I've seen it or how awful it is to the point where it makes me wish I've never heard of it.

Scott: She's a blonde.

Edwin: (looks at Derek who's holding a video camera) Derek, what are you doing?

Derek: I'm taping Casey's reaction when she finds out-

(door opens, Casey storms into the house)

Casey: (yelling) It's SATURDAY! (throws down her school books and chases after Derek)

Edwin: That’s Genius.

Casey: I do not snore!

Derek: Then you...sleep with bagpipes?

(Casey is practicing a routine for a dance competition as Edwin and his friend Jason walk in)

Edwin: Oh, not again. C'mon, let's go upstairs.

Jason: (fixated on Casey) Wait a sec, who is that goddess?

Edwin: Stepsister Casey. She's practicing for some dance competition. C'mon.

Jason: (to Edwin) But--but it's rude to leave in the middle of a song.

(Casey's song ends as Casey finishes her routine)

(Casey's episode overview)

Casey: (she breaks the fourth wall) I love the rush of performing for a live audience. But beforehand? I'm freaked! It's part of being a sensitive, artistic overachiever. As opposed to insensitive, crude underachievers---like Derek.

Derek: I love those guys!

Trevor: They're girls.

Derek: Even better

Kendra: (to Casey and Emily) So which one of you is the school's super keener?

Casey: Uh, I guess that'd be me. But I'm not a super keener.

Kendra: Ok, then just a regular keener?

Casey: Hey, I like to have fun, too! And homework can be fun!

Kendra: (to Casey) Yeah, you're the one.

Lizzie: (Grating cheese) Oww! I think I grated some of my skin into the cheese.

Casey: Eww! Get it out and don't bleed in the cheese! PLEASE!

Lizzie: (sarcastic) Don't worry I'll be fine!

Sheldon: Did you know that Emily has had a crush on you for ten years?

Derek: Are you sure I'm supposed to know that?

Sheldon: Well, she didn't get you but she got the next best thing!

Kendra: Where's Casey? Bachelor #1 is already here!

(both she and Emily watch Sheldon on the dance floor and wince)

Kendra:...And we'll work on one for you later.

Casey: Oh, the moral that requires having one girlfriend at a time.

George: Well, they better have that moral. 'Cuz I want my sons to treat the girls they date with the same respect they show their sisters! (receives surprised looks from his family) I mean much better than they treat their sisters.