Oh. (looks at plans on monitors) Ooh, Murphy-Beyer, model PRK-11-21. Nice. Okay, she's a horrible human being, but she's got solid taste in home security.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
These dust mites are just gonna eat me alive.
(throws blueprints to Nate) That's the blueprints from town hall, and the last time I go into a basement with this guy.
Ew! Just stepped in something squishy. How come I had to go to the embalming room, anyway?
It's 'cause Hardison's too scared to get in the body bag.
Hey, claustrophobia is a very serious condition. I got a note from my doctor. You want to see it?
I'm fashionably late to an ex-con's funeral. I'm gonna check the room for a safe.
(Eliot walks in the room to find it full of cops)
It's not ex-cons, it's cops. It's a lots of cops. Hardison.
I-I-I guess they must have switched the schedule.
You guess? I got caught up at the, uh, drug sting down in Dorchester, and I wasn't able to get home and change clothes.
(Eliot crosses himself and one of the officers comes forward to hand him a flask)
Hey. Thanks, man. Hardison, when I see you, I'm gonna hit you so hard, your ancestors hurt. (drinks from flask)
Never plan a heist in a building with so many windows.
Everything all right, Parker?
I can't stop thinking about the Newtons. Nate said that they had faith that their father was at peace, but it's not enough. How do you do it?
Do what?
How do you… care? You know, when you know that people, people that you like, that, someday, they'll die?
You know, Parker, we never really talk about it, but if you lost someone when you were just a child, then you might put up walls to make sure that you never got hurt again. Trust me, this life is not worth living without the people that make us want to tear down those walls. The thrill of vulnerability, the danger of opening your heart, it makes us feel alive.
I feel alive when I'm jumping off a building.
Well, maybe that's why they call it falling in love.
[Hardison is currently buried and struggling] Sophie, he's losing it. He needs you.
Parker, listen to me, you have spent a disproportionate amount of your life in air ducts. You more than anyone know how control your breathing. He doesn't need me. He needs you.
Parker? Parker?
Hardison? Hardison. Okay, Hardison, I need you to calm down. Listen to me. Okay, take a deep breath in.(Hardison takes a deep breath) Okay, good. Now let it out.(Hardison lets the breath out as tears leak from his eyes) Okay, c-come on. Come on. You got to do this with me, okay? Okay, here we go. Let's do this together, okay? Deep breath in. (Parker takes a deep breath in, and Hardison copies)
Good. Okay, good.
There you go.
Parker, don't, don't get off the phone. Please, I-I don't want to be alone again.
I'm not getting off this phone until we get you out of there, okay?
JJavier
Where the hell did you get that car?
NNate
It's a rental.
JJavier
How did you find us?
NNate
You leave the rest of your guys at the drop, waiting to kill me?
JJavier
I want my documents.
NNate
(moves his jacket to show the envelope) I want my colleague.
(Goon pulls a small machine gun and points it at Nate)
NNate
Oh, hmm. Eliot.
JJavier
What the hell's an Eliot?
Hardison, if you can hear me, take a deep breath, as deep as you can, and hold it. (Hardison takes a deep breath and puts his hand over his mouth) I know you can do this. Hardison. Hardison! You have to make it through this... Because... Because you're my friend, and I need you. Do you hear me, Alec? I need you!
Put me in a coffin. Here it comes to you. Got something for you. Boom. Evidence. Get it, get it, get it, get it.
NNate
Is that really necessary?
The man put me in a coffin, Nate. A damn coffin.
NNate
That's true.
(Parker is sitting on the bar holding the compass from the casket when Hardison walks into the room, leaning against the bar next to her)
I-I never would have made it through that without you. You know that, right, Parker?
Oh, that's not true. Anyone can learn to hold their breath.
(Hardison leans in and gives her a lingering kiss to the cheek)
Thanks for not hanging up the phone.
Yeah.
SSheila
Now I think con men or grifters, whatever they're called, are the worst people in the world.
I wouldn't necessarily say that this guy was a grifter. I mean, it sounds like he's more like a common criminal.
SSheila
Well, what's the difference?
A con, or a grift, when it's performed properly, it combines elegance and style with a, with a classical imitation of legitimate enterprise, parody--
NNate
(clears throat and puts his hand on Sophie’s leg) What she's trying to say is that it's not your fault.
Where's--are we waiting on Parker?
Oh, man, she's at that damned chocolate festival. It's like sending a crack addict to a cocaine convention. Girl texted me about an hour ago, misspelled every damned word. Look, "yu gedde yesh dis stuf." Probably got chocolate all over the buttons.
[over the comms] Hi, Hardison!
Um... hello?
Nate won't tell me what the name of the job is.
NNate
Parker, not now. Please?
Yeah, but what are we stealing? Is it "let's go steal a mountain" or a potato or a funeral or a panda or...
I told y'all not to let her go to that festival unsupervised.
[Sophie has just wowed the team--and the mark--with her performance as The Chocolate Whisperer]
[disbelieving] Just one piece of chocolate?
NNate
That's my girl.
She's scary.
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