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SEASON 1

Leverage · Season 1

Leverage Season 1 quotes

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Leverage
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S1 E15Unfinished Business

On the other hand, sometimes old school really is the best kind of security, I mean...

[whispers to Trevor] No, it's not.

What?

I'm listening. [whispers to Trevor] He's old.

What?

What?

Now, come on. Don't, I can't...

What, do this?

No, I just, it's...

You can't do this? Really?

Well, it's...

A former Jesuit seminary student doesn't know if he can handle a casual relationship.

No, it's...

What a shocker.

No, it's just, I mean, this, um, just... what, what do we, uh, do?

I say, dinner.

Just a, just a bite to eat.

As colleagues.

As friends.

Exactly.

I mean, that's not greed we're looking at it. It's grief.

I thought we were supposed to hate the guys that we take down.?

Not a requirement, a perk... usually.

It's got to be pretty cool living next to a carnival, though, huh?

(scoffs) It's got to be pretty cool being the security guy.

Wh-- M-my j--

Clearly you've never been to one. Every game is rigged.

It's rigged.

It's a waste of time unless you cheat.

Well, if you cheat, there's no satisfaction in winning.

Cheating's the only way to get anything in life.

Uh-huh. Aren't you a little bag of sunshine?

Are you kidding me? What, you think I wouldn't notice?!

Oh, hey! Hey, girl, this thing is hypersensitive.

I'm hyper-sensitive when people are building robots to replace me!

It's not a robot.

I'm not stupid, Hardison, okay? I know how smart you are and how capable you are of doing things. Parker 2000?

No. What, no, see, like, um, okay. Yeah, I used your name, right. But it's not--it's not what you think, at all. It's an ASCD, an Automated Safe Cracking Device.?

I'm a safe-cracking device. [Stomps out]

[walking into the frame and looking at Hardison] I told you not to call it Parker.

All right. Now, the mistake that most people make is throwing at the balloon, all right? The way these darts are weighted, they don't generate enough energy and momentum to go through the balloon. (throws dart at balloon and it falls to the floor) Boom.

Rigged?

No, not rigged, okay? House advantage. But you throw in an arc... (throws dart in an arc, and it pops a balloon) Gravity, that creates enough momentum. You try.

(Molly throws a dart and fails)

You forgot to mention the need for talent.

You go-- No, hard work beats talent every time. You're not putting an arc on it.

Do you subscribe to some motivational website or something?

(hands her a dart) Try again.

I'm not working with her.

Parker, it's not gender-specific. Plus, it can open a safe 6.5 times faster than you.

Ha! (moves to safe and turns the dial) There's no way I'm working with her.

I don't... Woman, please just connect it to the safe's wall.

This is a Glen Reeder model 88-11, last made in 2009. Did she know that?

Yes, Parker, because I programmed it.

I knew you were trying to replace me.

Woman, please just connect it to the safe's wall. Ain't nobody replacing you.

Come on, Parker.

Parker, Connell's gonna catch you.

(continuing to try and open the safe) Shh!

Parker, please!

Are you talking to me or the new Parker?

Maybe I should talk to new Parker. Give her the comm. Give her the comm, Parker. At least she listens. Give her the comm. Girl, if you don't attach that thing to the safe wall --

Just do it, Parker!

Fine. (takes electrodes from Parker 2000 and attaches them to the safe) There's no way she can crack this safe faster than me. (the safe opens) Whoa.

[When Molly is kidnapped]

No, this can't be an abduction. This is K&R. The Russian buys, they want the chip. We are on a reset. Our main objective is the girl. We find her, bring her back safe. We lose the chip if we have to. We burn Connell if we have to. Anyone have a problem, speak now.

Eliot, we're gonna need to know if anyone has left the carnival.

Forty seconds from the main entrance. Nate, if I'm engaged...

Do your worse.

[Instructing Eliot with chemicals] Now mix and run like hell.

[sets off a minor explosion with thick smoke] Dammit, Hardison! A little warning next time!

Well, what you think "run like hell" meant?

Hey, man, you really should have let us get you to a hospital.

I hired a nurse.

Ah, that-a-boy. A little (punches Eliot’s arm) chicken noodle soup, a little (punches him again) grandmotherly love.

(flinches back in pain) Stop.

(A tall blond woman with long hair enters the pub. Eliot gets up to meet her)

Hey. How are you? (to Hardison) This is nurse Gail.

I don't think she's registered.

How you two doing with your little mini-Parker?

I can't believe you brought her here, by the way.

Okay, you know what, Parker? Look. (puts Parker 2000 on table) You want to know why I made it green?

Mm-hmm.

Because your favorite color is green. You want to know why I named her after you? It's because she's based off of you. Parker, that's why I was always asking you, "What are you thinking? How are you feeling?" Everything she knows, she learned off of you. I didn't make her to replace you. I would never want to replace you. I--she's--she's for you.

I love it. (grabs it)

Really?

Yeah. I'm gonna call her "Hardy."

Okay. No. Um, it's "Parker 2000." It says so right there in the fine print.

It used to be.

Okay, no. That's, that's not gonna work. That's –

Hardy it is.

But it's Parker 2000. It's like --

Yeah, but you said it's mine, so I can name it whatever I want. She shall be called Hardy. (to Parker 2000) You like that name, don't you? (high voice) Yes. Yes.

Right, but when I invented it, I registered the name as Parker 2000.

She likes it. She likes it.

Hardy is good. I can make a Hardy.

Darlene Wickett and her sons are embezzling money from the dying and grieving. It's the oldest grift in the book.

And the cruelest. Even I never ran that one--it's tacky.

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