Eliot quotes from Leverage

Eliot

He showed me I could use my knife to create instead of destroy.

Eliot

He's one of the guys that kept me from falling all the way down, and now I'm asking the other guy to understand why I'm gonna help him.

Eliot

Hope, those are red onions.

Eliot

Alright look listen to me. If I'm going to do this. I wanna... I wanna be tough dad. You know what I mean? Cool dad. Just enough to turn her head. Don't go overboard on this! Keep it simple. You know someone who's not afraid to make a PB&J okay, but still wants to go out into the yard, get dirty, kick the soccer ball around a bit. Strict, but fair.

Eliot

After my wife passed it was, uh it was very tough for me and my son... Dashiel... to communicate. (choked up) But... that's when Baby Feels-A-Lot came into our lives.

You're not as useless as you look.

[scoffs] I don't even know what you do.

Eliot

[After taking out four guys before Hardison's bag touches the ground, turns to him with a smug smile] That's what I do.

Parker

Can I have one?

You can have the whole box.

Eliot

What are you going to do when she finds out you live with your mom?

Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.

Eliot

You keep telling yourself that.

Eliot

This thing safe?

Yeah, it's completely safe…it's just you know, if you experience nausea, weakness in your right side, stroke, strokiness…

Eliot

You're precisely why I work alone.

Guys, listen up. We're going on my count, not a second sooner. Parker, no freelancing.

Eliot

Hey, relax. We know what we're doin'.

And on the count of five, four…

Aw, he doesn't want to be our pal.

We're on the count! Five, four, three…

Parker

[runs by and jumps over the side] Yahoooooo!

Eliot

She's gone!

Son of a—!

Eliot

That’s twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.

Parker

They reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can’t go up.

Eliot

Every man for himself then.

Go ahead, I’m the one with the merchandise.

Parker

Yeah, well, I’m the one with an exit.

And I’m the one with a plan. Now, I know you children don’t play well with others, but I need you to hold it together for exactly seven more minutes. Now, get to the elevator and head down. We’re going to the burn scam.

Going to Plan B?

Technically, that would be Plan G.

How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a Plan M?

Yeah. Hardison dies in Plan M.

Eliot

I like Plan M.

Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?

Eliot

Yeah, well, one show only, no encores.

Parker

I already forgot your names.

It was kind of cool, being on the same side.

No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief.

Parker

You are now. Come on Nathan, tell the truth. Didn’t you have a little bit of fun playing the Black King instead of the White Knight, just this once?

Yeah, you seem pretty relaxed for a guy with a gun pointed at him.

Eliot

[looks at Hardison] Safety’s on.

Like I’m gonna fall for that.

No, no, actually he’s right, the safety is on.

Parker! Get me a phone. What we’re going to do is, we’re going to get out of here together.

Eliot

This was a onetime deal.

Look guys, here’s your problem. You all know what you can do, I know what all you can do, so that gives me the edge, gives me the plan.

Parker

I don’t trust these guys.

Do you trust me?

Eliot

Of course. You’re an honest man.

Parker, phone.

Parker

This is gonna suck. [sticks her fingers down her throat to induce vomiting]

Eliot

I'm going to beat Dubenich so bad even the people that look like him are going to bleed.

Parker

You won't get within a hundred yards. He knows your face. He knows all our faces.

Eliot

He tried to kill us.

Parker

More importantly, he didn't pay us.

Eliot

How is that more important?!

Parker

I take that personally.

Eliot

There's somethin' wrong with you.

Why would Dubenich lie to us?

Cause you’re thieves. If he hired you for a straight up crime, you’d know he was a bad guy like you, you’d be suspicious. This way you just saw another citizen in over his head, and that’s why you didn’t see the double cross coming.

Parker

Why didn’t you see it coming?

Because I’m not a thief.

Eliot

You know what, maybe that was the problem. If you--