Parker quotes from Leverage

You know the difference between us and them?

Parker

Hmm?

We make this look good.

Parker

[Looking over the equipment] Hey.

Hey.

Parker

This gives me a good idea.

Whatever it is, no.

Parker

What do I know about teenage girls?

Um, You were a teenage girl?

Parker

Only sort of.

Sophie

Did you know about this, girls being dropped from 20 feet? It's unbelievable.

Parker

I know, right? 20 feet. Pfft, walk it off.

Sophie

Parker, you do know that normal people don't just walk off a 20 foot fall, right?

No.

Eliot

I thought it was funny, Parker.

No way in hell was it funny.

Eliot

You were always upside down, man.

I fell off a building, yeah I was upside down.

Eliot

Like a pinwheel, like a Himalayan tree frog.

You call me a frog?

Eliot

[makes popping sounds while gesturing with his hands]

You call me a damn frog?

Eliot

Pop pop and upside down. Yeah.

Say it to my face.

Guys, maybe focus. Guys, focus.

Damn frog.

Parker

Okay, Ashley. Where's Madison?

Can I have some water?

In a minute. Why don't you tell us again, from the top?

I don't know where Madison went.

Parker

[loudly] Don't give us that. The girls say you're her best friend. Best friends talk, Angela. Are you gonna talk, huh? Are you? Huh?!

Easy. Easy. Easy. Your coach gets a little hot under the collar.

Am I in trouble? Are you gonna call my parents?

Hm. [Exchanges a glance with Parker] You can parent up. That's your right.

Madison talked to me in confidence.

Parker

A big word for a little girl.

Where's Madison?

Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready, let's go.

Ready?

Ready!

Sophie

Ready.

Eliot

Ready.

Parker

Ready.

Let's go.

Hi. How are you? J.J. LeGrange. [shakes Parker's hand]

Parker

I don't vote.

[chuckles] Oh, you will.

Sophie

[giving the briefing] It's 1971, the day before Thanksgiving. A 727 takes off from Portland bound for Seattle. It is hijacked by this man, a passenger who goes by the name of Dan Cooper.

Parker

Wait. I thought his name was D.B. Cooper?

That was misheard by a reporter at the scene, and then it was repeated until it became gospel. [To Sophie] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your swooning. Go on and swoon.

Dad loved his coffee.

Yeah. He'd let it get ice cold and top it off all day long. Drove me crazy.

Parker

What else do you remember about him?

Well, he was a hell of a shot.

Yeah, but a terrible driver.

[Laughs] That's true. One time, we're in this high-speed chase, and he plows us right into this restaurant dumpster. Plow! What a mess! So we get out of the car, we're looking at the damage, and this girl comes running up to us and says somebody attacked her and that maybe she thought he was the CIA or one of the Russians. She's tripping on acid. She's a runaway. So I'm ready to hand her over to the paramedics. Peter's got her in the back seat of the car. "Take us to him," he tells her. We found the guy! He's in the bus station! And the next day, he takes us to the woods where he's buried three other runaways. I say to Peter, "Hey. This girl, she was, she was strung out. She was ranting. I mean, how did you know?" He said, "All I heard...was that she was afraid." So... [lifts a glass] ...here's to Peter McSweeten...who couldn't drive a lick.

Eliot

Erickson doesn't strike me as a mob guy.

Because he's not. No, he establishes mob ties as a get-out-of-jail-free card. So, if the day ever comes that the SEC discovers his stock fraud....

Parker

He'll trade his mob records for immunity and a new identity. Sweet!

Parker

I mean, evil. And clever, but bad.

Parker

Look, I sprained my knee. I’m fine! (repels down from ceiling into a chair) Totally fine.

Babe, sprained your knee? You tore your ACL.

Parker

Yeah. Basically, a sprained knee.

Yeah, basically not true. Look, babe, six weeks of bed rest. Doctor’s orders. Not optional. And don’t forget to take your pain pills, okay?

Parker

They make everything go wibbly-wobbly. (grabs a bottle of orange pop and opens it)

Yeah, that’s how you know they’re working.

Parker

But I got to be sharp... on the edge. It’s where I got to be. Can’t have nothing in my life I can’t walk away from in 30 seconds if I feel the heat coming around the corner.

Parker, look, I know that you’re... Wait, hold up, babe, did you just quote “Heat”?

Parker

Yeah, that’s where that’s from. Ha, watched your Netflix queue... Twice.

Good morning. How's the patient feeling today?

Parker

Less and less like a patient and more and more like a prisoner.

Oh. Well, hopefully, this will taste better than prison food.

Parker

You'd be surprised. Best meal I ever has was in French prison.

French prison, huh? How long were you in for?

Parker

[In French] Not as long as they thought I'd be.

Eliot

How's the knee?

Parker

Driving me to crazy town. Pretty much like it's on cruise control, cruising me through crazy town. And you know what? Let's face it. I have way too much to do. This knee, I need to be on a bullet train through crazy town. I don't have time to stop for gas, go to the museum--

Eliot

Parker, breathe. Identify you limitations. Turn them to advantages.

Parker

Okay, good. How do I do that?

Eliot

Adapt.

They have a gun. We don't stop them. We call the police.

Parker

No cops. No cops. That will actually increase the chances of people getting hurt.

How?

Parker

Because seeing a uniform in the middle of stealing something could cause you to panic, make bad decisions.

And how do you know so much about this again?

Parker

I...read blogs, Amy.

Parker

Yeah, so, there's a getaway van parked in the alley.

How do you know that's what it is?

Parker

Intuition.