A character in Leverage
Played by Beth Riesgraf
Leverage · 1,001 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Leverage: in 331 of its 1,001 quotes
Most scenes with: Hardison (172), Nate (134), Eliot (125)
Parker[over the comms] Hi, Hardison!
Um... hello?
ParkerNate won't tell me what the name of the job is.
Parker, not now. Please?
ParkerYeah, but what are we stealing? Is it "let's go steal a mountain" or a potato or a funeral or a panda or...
I told y'all not to let her go to that festival unsupervised.
Greg Sherman, aka....what is it again?
[The civilians start yelling out random fish.]
ParkerCrappie? Blowfish?
Gefilte Fish.
Are you Special Agent Hagen?
ParkerMm-hm.
Agent McSweeten sends his best. And he also sends a...haiku.
ParkerThat's so nice. Say "hi" back.
[The team is discussing what to do after someone steals a donor heart being transported by their new client]
ParkerCan't we just get another heart?
[looking annoyed] From who?
[on how they're going to steal an airline employee badge] We're gonna twist Sophie's ankle.
[Later]
Parker[asking how to get another badge] How do we get do that? Break Eliot's wrist?
What? No, we just pick one up from where the ground crew left it.
[Later]
[discussing the final step-getting into the airline tower] Well, we have to lure them out...
ParkerOh! Okay, set Nate on fire?
[looking annoyed] Settle down!
Parker, that...that sounded a lot like ball bearings rolling across the floor.
ParkerUh huh.
Was that because there were ball bearings rolling across the floor?
ParkerUh huh.
ParkerWhere's Nate?
Playing chess.
ParkerAgain?
Always.
So, what, the salt was plan B?
No, no, that's, ah, that's plan M.
Don't I die in plan M?
Yeah, usually.
What you mean, usually? How many plans do I die in?
C, F, and M through Q.
C, that's a little close to home, man. You need to switch that up. How many plans does Eliot die in?
None. And [pointing to Parker] none. And [pointing to Sophie]...nnehh. There is a plan where he [Eliot] comes out of it with a scar from the temple through the eye all the way down to his mouth--
ParkerOoh! You'd look so cool with a scar!
Wait, wait, wait, go back, hold on, let's rewind--you skipped past me! You skipped past me.
Well, I have one, there is a plan, but it's evolving.
Okay, that's creepy. Don't you think that's creepy? He's planning my death.
Ever been quail hunting, Hardison?
Do I look like I go quail hunting?
Let me ask him something. You ever played a video game where you go quail hunting?
You see, the birds, understandably, they don't like to be shot-
ParkerSo they hide in the bushes. When you hunt, you have to beat the bushes with a stick. That way, you scare the birds into the sky, and there's a man waiting there with a gun and good aim, and he... [makes a gun cocking sound] ...picks them off.
That is seriously messed up. Why would y'all tell me something like that? [to Parker] Why do you know that?
ParkerSo, remember last night when you were playing with your pretend friends?
They're not pretend. They're just not in the same room as me.
ParkerThey're an elf, a dwarf, and a thing with a tail. I'm pretty sure they're pretend. Remember when you took the thingy with the glowing thingy and used it to kill the guy who was on the shiny stuff and also there was all this magic?
[smiles] I think so
ParkerThat was so cool. I mean how many people here are cool enough to kill the guy with the thing?
You're right. That was pretty cool.
ParkerYeah [kisses his cheek and walks away]
Sophie [over comms]: That actually worked?
No, but the fact that she thought it would work, that worked.
ParkerShould I tell him it's the age of the geek?
He'll figure it out eventually.
ParkerYou remember Peggy from that jury duty job? Technically, she’s Alice’s friend, but --
You’re Alice.
You’re Alice, actually.
ParkerShe moved here from Boston last year so we've been doing brunch and other normal people stuff.
And we're very proud of you.
ParkerWell, brunch isn't hard. I mean, there are forks.
ParkerYou know that thing you do when you fix whatever I'm doing wrong?
You mean advice?
ParkerUmm hmm.
[later]
ParkerWait, you haven't fixed me yet!
ParkerI just uploaded some photos to my sky drive. Can you run that face thing that tells you if people are bad?
You mean the one that took me six knockdown, drag-out months to hack?
ParkerYeah.
Girl, I’m trying to prove my manhood with my boys. You know what I’m saying? With my boys.
ParkerPlease?
H-hang on.
Hardison, you in or out?
What? (pulls up Parker’s SkyDrive on his laptop and runs facial recognition software) Oh, oh, okay. Parker, Craig Mattingly. He’s wanted for burglary and grand larceny in a whole bunch of countries. He is trouble. And he he’s got some strikingly good features, squared-up jaw and everything. P-Parker, what are you doing with this guy?
ParkerThanks. You’re the best.
Wait. Parker, wait. I –
Alice, yeah, it’s okay. You were just looking out for me. And now I know your secret.
ParkerYou do?
Yeah. (whispers) You’re a spy.
ParkerMm. That’s right. I am a spy.
What a relief.
ParkerWhew. And that is why I cannot tell you anything else about what I do.
Mnh-mnh. National security.
Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. I get it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Leverage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
