Nate quotes from Leverage

Now, Sophie [Lifts up the first cup; empty] didn't have the dagger. Eliot [Lifts the second; empty] didn't have the dagger. Hardison [Lifts the third; empty] didn't have the dagger.

[Whispering to Eliot] I still beat you.

Parker

[Grinning] Yeaaah.

Parker

What?! I'm a thief!

Parker

Nate.

[Grinning] I think you're all forgetting to ask yourself one simple, crucial question.

Eliot

What?!

Well the question is who is the insurance company for the dagger of Aqu'abi?

Sophie

No...

Eliot

You've got to be kidding me.

Ah, man.

Do you want to go to London?

Sophie

Let's go steal an auction.

Parker

And...statue. Gold guy. Uh, loincloth, feral beard, and very rectangular feet.

Falcon head, dog head, or human head?

Parker

Bird head. And I think he's smirking at me.

It's just a title nobody holds.

Parker

And does it come with a castle?

Sophie

Sometimes, yeah.

Good guess.

Sophie

It's not really a guess when it's that good, is it?

The name of this con is called "The Mummy's Tiara."

Come on, man, that can't be real.

Parker

Am I gonna have to steal a corpse again?

Did you take care of the auctioneer?

Parker

Yeah. Sophie told me to find out his deepest wish and give it to him, but I thought that would take way too long so...

Parker

[to the auctioneer] Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? [presses the rag in his face until he goes unconscious.]

Parker

What? He's going to wake up in like 3 hours.

Eliot

You want me to stall them? They're former British paratroopers.

How do you--

Eliot

Haircuts, all right? It's a very distinctive haircut.

Parker

Great. Let's get him.

There's a problem. Struck a deal with the Feds. He's protected.

What are you-- What-- What's the smile? What are you smiling at? What is that?

Sophie

Ah, oh no. No, no, no.

Oh, yeah. Let's go steal a federal witness.

All right, so when his partying gets him into hot water, who does he call?

Parker

Ghostbusters!

Eliot

Again?

Parker

Okay, bad enough it's Christmas and there's no snow on the ground, but this is Santa we're talking about, okay? We can't turn away Santa!

You know that's not really Santa, right?

Parker

Obviously. Santa lives at the North Pole.

Let's go steal the Department of Defense.

Parker

Isn't that treason?

We'll give it back.

Please do not antagonize her.

She's another anti-war local hack. I can handle her.

Ah, no, no, no. She's an angry ex-schoolteacher with subpoena powers. She will make your life hell. Trust me. Happy face. Happy face. Let's go.

Who are you!?

You know how it feels like you've been poked by a stick, you know, over these last six months or so? I'm that stick.

General, I understand you're taking quite a risk to yourself and your family by talking to us. We certainly owe you a debt.

No. I am the one with the debt. Spencer saved my life. Twice.

Eliot

Once. And a half.

Parker

How do you half-save someone's life?

Eliot

Because I was the one that was sent to kill him. So I figure that only counts as a half, right?

That actually makes sense.