Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Season 1 quotes

Dr. Huang

He may believe he's in a relationship that doesn't even exist.

Munch

Sounds like me with my 4 ex-wives.

He's as bad as his client! Hoping the victim is too traumatized to testify. He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth down his throat!

I'd pay real money to see that.

Stalking me, counselor?

I need a search warrant.

What are we searching for?

Videotapes of Roy Barnett engaged in sex acts with minors.

You're kidding! Where are they?

Sam Cavanaugh's house.

[scoffs] His mother would rather see you dead than let you search the place. Information from a reliable source? Don't start.

He was a victim of Roy Barnett's until 5 years ago.

Which is old news. What's the rest of the story?

He's in Sing Sing for aggravated sexual abuse-1 plus a separate fraud conviction.

I can't believe you're even asking!

Roy Barnett is a serial child molester. He will not stop.

Neither of which is a reason to grant a warrant.

The tapes are.

You have no idea whether they even exist.

This is our last chance. I have to risk it.

I won't order a search based on the dubious word of a convicted pedophile! You look like Hell, Alexandra. Get some sleep.

Linda Cavanaugh never consented to any search! The Assistant District Attorney lied her way in by claiming the apartment was a crime scene.

Sam Cavanaugh's alleged suicide attempt was never investigated.

Miss Cabot, you're not going to sell that here. Don't even try it.

This was a blatant 4th Amendment violation, sanctioned and indeed carried out by the People. Therefore, any evidence found must be suppressed.

Mr. Barnett's 4th Amendment rights were not violated. Linda Cavanaugh's certainly were, but she isn't the defendant. Mr. Barnett is. He has no standing to contest a search of someone else's home.

Are you actually arguing that you can march in like the Gestapo and search any private residence?!

I'm arguing I can search any private residence that doesn't belong to your client, and it will have no bearing on these proceedings.

While I deplore the Assistant District Attorney's actions, I am forced to agree that the illegal search of Linda Cavanaugh's residence is a civil tort. The defendant's privacy was not violated, and therefore, he has no legal standing to contest the search. Motion to suppress the evidence is denied. Miss Cabot, I scarcely know where to begin. The liberties you have taken. The disdain you have shown toward the law in this court are highly unethical and a disgrace to your position. Be assured I will recommend your office to look into your actions. And you have done yourself a real disservice in my courtroom. I won't forget it.

I take full responsibility for my actions.

Of course. You did it for the greater good, the safety of society. Bull. You did this for you.

I did this for hundreds of Barnett's future victims.

One. One victim. Sam Cavanaugh. Did it work? Did it assuage your guilt?

No. I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.

I've got news for you. It won't happen. Ever.

Need I remind you that I am responsible for the integrity of this entire bureau?

A judge has used the power of the court to further his own agenda. If the light we shine on him isn't brighter than the light we shine on the public, then this bureau has no integrity.

Thornburg? One of the most respected jurists in the state?

Stabler

Which doesn't mean squat to me if he raped an 11-year-old girl.

Benson

Three fireplaces. Guy could have come in through the chimney.

Stabler

Maybe we should be looking for a guy in a red suit.

Benson

[while searching a locksmith's van] I got coffee cups, candy wrappers and half eaten sandwiches. They should really think about cleaning this out every two years.

Munch

Captain, you got a second?

What's up, John?

Munch

Bad timing. I got jury duty in an hour.

And you're just telling me now? Get your ass down there. It's your civic duty, John. The Mayor can do it, so can you.

[to his wife] You know what? This was all a mistake. Yes, I stole your money. She was only supposed to take your watch. You weren't supposed to get hurt. You're upset. We need to get away, just you and me, huh? Anywhere you want to go.

The only place you're going is to hell.

Dr. Warner

It's official. The finger's dead.

The People have requested remand.

Well, you're not gonna get it. 300,000.

Objection!

Overruled.

Your honor, I must object. Since you've rebuked me from manipulating the law to my own advantage, your ruling seems hypocritical.

That's enough. One more word out of you, and you'll be enjoying my hospitality.

Ma'am, I urge you to reconsider, or you will force me to file a grievance.

You're in contempt. Bailiff!

You have no idea what it's like to have a mother who doesn't give a damn about you.

Fin

[reads newspaper] Violin's gonna start in any minute.

[to Fin] I could hug you, but I can tell you don't like to be touched.