Law & Order: Special Victims Unit quotes

Look, I don't know what you're talking about.

Stabler

Young hookers. You've got a thing for them.

Absolutely not. I'm a married man.

Stabler

How about that 14-year-old you were caught diddling?

I was a kid.

Stabler

Mike, you were 22.

She looked older. I prayed for forgiveness. I never made that mistake again.

Stabler

Until you met Maggie Ortiz.

Never seen her before.

Stabler

No?

No.

Stabler

How about Abby Mannion?

I don't know her, either.

Stabler

Your penis does. Your semen was found inside her.

Mr. Buchanan wants to talk about you being a criminal, Gladys, so let's just do that. How long were you under the control of your pimp?

Since I was 12, so 10 years.

And how many nights a week did he force you to work?

5.

And how many men did he force you to have sex with each night?

[tears up] Like, at least 6.

And since you were 12, you couldn't consent, and because you were forced, you were raped. So would you estimate that you were raped a total of 13,000 times over those 10 years?

[quietly] Yeah.

[to Buchanan] I hope I cleared things up for you, counselor. [points to Gladys] That is a victim. [points to Skags] And that is a criminal.

Benson

[about Morgan] Sounds like he went to the Bernie Madoff school of investing.

Docket ending 245. People vs. Richard Morgan. Charges are--

Is this right? 230 counts each, grand larceny and fraud in the first degree, and 20 counts of income tax evasion?

Your honor, you're looking at Bernard Madoff, the Karate Kid edition.

That's prejudicial, Judge. I want her censured.

I don't see any jury here, Miss Block. And she certainly isn't going to prejudice me. How do you plead, Mr. Morgan?

Not guilty.

The defendant has a private plane and ample means to flee the country. We request remand to Rikers.

Remand is excessive. My client wasn't charged with a violent crime.

Yet. Mr. Morgan is also being investigated for rape and murder.

And when he's charged with either of those, he'll await trial in Rikers. The defendant will surrender his passport and be confined to his home with an electronic monitoring device. Bail is denied. [bangs gavel] We're in recess.

How well did you know Lainie?

Nardalee

Not at all.

So you weren't girlfriends? You didn't share any secrets?

Nardalee

No.

So, you wouldn't know if what you saw was my client fulfilling Lainie's fantasy.

Nardalee

That girl was being raped.

How do you know that? You just said that you didn't know my client or Lainie.

Nardalee

I know when a woman is being raped.

Are you a mind reader?

Nardalee

I was raped.

Objection, your honor.

Nardalee

I've seen many women raped. I know that look.

This is unresponsive.

Nardalee

I know that look. That dead look in the eyes when you imagine you are anywhere but there.

Please direct her to answer the question.

Mr. Kressler asked you a question. Are you a mind reader?

Nardalee

No, your honor. I am not.

Isn't it a fact that you are in this country illegally?

Objection! Relevance.

It goes to her character. She lied to get into the country. Maybe she's lying about this.

I'll allow it.

Miss Ula, isn't it a fact that last week, you were in a detention center?

Nardalee

Yes.

And aren't you only testifying here today, in exchange for Miss Cabot getting you out?

Nardalee

No!

Is it true that you were to be deported, because of close ties to a terrorist organization?

Nardalee

That is a lie!

Aren't you married to a known terrorist?

Nardalee

It was a forced marriage!

And you claimed he raped you.

Nardalee

He and all his friends!

And now you see rape everywhere. No further questions.

Miss Ula, why did you come into this country?

Nardalee

To escape the epidemic of sexual violence taking place in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The men who raped me were fighting for control of the mines that produce tin, tungsten, and tantalum, the conflict minerals you so desperately need to make your cell phones and computers!

Objection. What does this have to do with this trial?

He called her character into question and insinuated she was a member of a terrorist organization. He opened this door!

Overruled.

Miss Ula, do you see rape everywhere?

Nardalee

The women in my village were raped. The women in the militia camp were raped. I was raped repeatedly, by so many men, I lost count. They put their guns in my sex, and one of them pulled the trigger. I was in the hospital for over a year. It left me incontinent. So, yes. I have seen rape EVERYWHERE! That is how I know that girl was raped.

Thank you. Nothing further.

Nardalee

I can't believe I helped put a rapist in jail! I never thought it was possible. In the DRC, the men don't even fear being punished.

Any idea what I'm looking for?

Fin

No.

You owe me.

Fin

Don't I always?

Benson

[while interrogating Bogdon] The truth hurts! And Jane was gonna splash it all over the front page. Of course, she'd have to use small print.

Benson

Gotta tell ya, I never would have pegged a woman for it.

Stabler

You surprised by a killer woman? Try missing an anniversary.

Dr. Huang

Lots of divorces start at drunken wedding receptions.

It wasn't rape! We love each other!

Dr. Huang

You took advantage of a child.

No! You don't understand! Andrew is a man. He is my soul mate!

Stabler

I don't trust a guy who wears drawstring pants.

Munch

DNA sweat stains, so now you have to watch where you sweat.

Dr. Warner

Wonders of science, baby.

Stabler

What'd you call us down for?

Well, when you got 2 dead little girls, the Ledgers gonna run it on the front page.

Stabler

So you want answers before they hit you with the questions.

Yeah. The only time I like to be surprised with my pants down is on my birthday.