Elliot Stabler quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Stabler

I just don't want you to get your hopes up.

Hope is all we have, Detective Stabler.

Stabler

What the hell?

Benson

Everything's gone.

Stabler

The whole de-con routine was a scam.

Munch

Why, Santa? Why?

Stabler

My DD Fives, notebooks, all gone.

Who do we call when we’ve been raped?

Stabler

In the 6 months since Zoe and Kate took St. Victor's to court, the whole family's been harassed. They've even changed their phone numbers twice.

Fin

Didn't do any good. Broken windows, graffiti on the doors. Zoe's filed 6 reports. Nobody's ever been charged.

Munch

Since when did New York become a red state?

(to underage girl in motel room) Why don't you just take off your clothes, and we'll have ourselves a good time.

Stabler

(bursts into room with a drawn gun) Can we have a good time too?

Fin

(entering) Me too. I bet we can all have a lot of fun.

Stabler

"Password protected."

My 6-year old could hack this.

Stabler

No way. You're not doing this.

Dr. Warner

I can take care of myself.

Stabler

No offense, but med school doesn't exactly prepare you for something like this.

Dr. Warner

The Air Force did. They paid for medical school. I did 2 tours at Ramstein during Desert Storm. I know how to handle myself around men with guns.

No. Everybody stays. They're my ticket out of here.

Stabler

You don't need them. You've got me. I'm a cop. So's every guy out there. They're not going to risk my life. As long as you're with me, you're safe.

Stabler

You look just like him.

Who?

Stabler

[shows pictures of the baby] Your son.

I don't have a son.

Stabler

Carried him 9 months. You didn't want him. You had legal options. You have a problem with abortion? That's your choice. I understand that. There's adoption. [Ella shakes her head] You chose to give birth!

You have the wrong person.

Stabler

You chose to walk 6 blocks with him, right past a firehouse! A hospital where, under safe haven laws, you could've just left him anonymously!

Why are you yelling at me?

Stabler

Because you tossed him in the trash like the garbage you are!! All those choices... How is that even an option?!

Stabler

Why didn't you shoot Gitano?

Benson

He was using the child as a shield.

Stabler

How could you let him get so close to you?

Benson

There were innocent civilians around. I couldn't get a shot.

Stabler

Well, you got close, and Ryan's dead.

Benson

So this is my fault?

Stabler

I can't do this anymore. I can't be looking over my shoulder making sure you're okay!

Benson

You son-of-a-bitch, you know that's not true!

Stabler

I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to the rescue!

Stabler

If that sniper hadn't beaten you to it... I know you would have taken that shot, Olivia.

Benson

No, I wouldn't have. Did you really expect me to? Did you really expect me to cause your death? What about your kids?

Stabler

I don't know. I just couldn't get that boy out of my head.

Benson

What about me?

Stabler

Look, we both chose each other over the job. We can never let that happen again. Otherwise... we can't be partners.

Benson

I can't believe you're saying that.

Stabler

Look, you and this job are about the only things that I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that. I couldn't take it.

Pervert. What, you get turned on by little children?

What are you saying?

I'm sayin' the little whore came in here and stole your tobacco license, so you wanted to pay her back.

Okay! She got me angry. She called me names. She laugh at me. But I swear, I didn't touch her!

Stabler

Blaine.

So, that's why you took her outside and hit her over the head?!

Stabler

Blaine!

WHAT?!

Stabler

Nice shoes. Are those Quattros?

No wonder your partner dumped you.

Stabler

What'd you just say to me?

You screwed her, and now you're tryin' to screw me. [Stabler punches him, and both detectives get into a fight] GET OFF ME!!

Fin

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! C'mon, guys! Easy! Easy!

[released from Stabler's grasp] Get off me! Get off me!!

THAT'S ENOUGH!!! Blaine, my office. Now! [to his other detectives] Everybody, back to work! Fun's over! [walks up to Stabler] What've you got to say, Elliot?

Stabler

Either you get rid of him, or I quit!

You get changed, and get in my office.

Hey! Hey! You! Hey, I'm talkin' to you. 'Member me? [points his gun at Tommy]

He's got a gun!!

Stabler

Drop it! Drop it!!

Somebody call a bus!!

Did-- Did I kill him?

Benson

I wasn't planning on coming back.

Stabler

It's in your blood.

Benson

That's the problem.

Stabler

You are a jinx.

Agent Lewis

Who? Me?

Stabler

The last year at the courthouse, when I got shot, you were there. You are bad luck. Every time you show up, I nearly get killed.

Agent Lewis

You are still above ground, hon. Maybe I'm your good luck charm.