[Telling Laverne, Shirley, Frank and Carmine] You're right! I ain't gonna pass that test. And you know why? I'll tell you why, Because my driving carrier is over I AM FINISHED! [Leaving Laverne & Shirley's apartment] I'm not gonna pass it for one simple reason! Because I'm JUST...TOO...DUMB! [Slams the door]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Referring to a bowl of mushy food] It's brown now, that means it was yellow once! Would you like some Shirley... I always eat something when I'm nervous
[Swallowing hard and placing hand on her chest to hider her disgust] No, thanks, I'm fasting... religious reasons.
You know girls, between us, Squiggy's not as smart as he looks...
Aww, he's gotta be...
[Hugging Lenny] Alright Lenn, I'll take that stupid drivers test! And I'll pass it too! But not for me...FOR MY BEST FRIEND! I'll just have to fall apart some other time.
[Chocking] Squig you're chocking me to death!
[Reading Squiggy's driving test grade out loud] Your test score was........73! A passing grade!
LSLaverne/Shirley
YOU'VE PASSED?!?
YOU PASSED! SQUIGGY YOU DID IT YOU PASSED!!!
[Smiling] I pass I pass.
Yeah I knew you could.
Aw you jerk.
[Reading Squiggy's little black book about Shirley] Shirley Feeney, Must be carefull with this one. [Shirley smiles and leaves Lenny & Squiggy's Apartment] Wants to marry me and have my baby.
[Screams]
[Laughing] Miss Shirley Squigman and the squiglett!
[To Shirley] You're too little to be a LAMP. Maybe you could be a nightlight...
You're nothing but a yellow-bellied cream puff!
Cream puff?! Cream puff?! I'll have you know that cream puffs don't have bellies!
What I don't have in strength, I make up for in what I lack up here! [Points to head]
My family may have left Poland in disgrace, but some day we'll return the same way!
[To Laverne] You're pretty, and you're smart, and you happen to be the classiest girl I know.
No need to bow, a simple curtsy will do.
WWoman
In my country, I'd have your head!
You'd look pretty stupid with my head!
I've got better things to do than spend my time in the kitchen!
Oh yeah? Well answer me this - how do you intend on keeping a husband happy, hmmm?
[Laverne smiles suggestively]
Well I hear that gives them quite the appetite!
Ow, don't touch me! [Pauses] That's funny, that's what you usually say!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Laverne & Shirley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.