Lenny Kosnowski quotes from Laverne & Shirley

Laverne

How about you, Len? You like girls, too, huh?

Lenny

Sure. Hey, if I get a bigger plant then him, will I get bigger women?

Shirley

I'm telling you Laverne, this whole thing is sick and morbid.

[Crying] Hello!

Shirley

Not now guys! I don't have the time.

Lenny

[Crying] She doesn't have the time!

Lenny

You know girls, between us, Squiggy's not as smart as he looks...

Laverne

Aww, he's gotta be...

[Hugging Lenny] Alright Lenn, I'll take that stupid drivers test! And I'll pass it too! But not for me...FOR MY BEST FRIEND! I'll just have to fall apart some other time.

Lenny

[Chocking] Squig you're chocking me to death!

Lenny

[Reading Squiggy's driving test grade out loud] Your test score was........73! A passing grade!

YOU'VE PASSED?!?

Lenny

YOU PASSED! SQUIGGY YOU DID IT YOU PASSED!!!

[Smiling] I pass I pass.

Lenny

Yeah I knew you could.

Aw you jerk.

In my country, I'd have your head!

Lenny

You'd look pretty stupid with my head!

Lenny

If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you slap us, do we not swell up? If you spit on us, do we not get wet?

The answer to all these questions is yes.

Laverne

You know that special feeling a guy gets for a girl?

Lenny

Yeah... I got that for you.

Lenny

[Reading his note to Laverne while he sits on her legs] Shut up, sit down, listen to me! It took me a long time to work out what I had to say so be quiet until i'm finished! You lied to me, you hurt my feelings, you got me punched out, and you got mustard on my best jacket!

Laverne

Is that it?

Lenny

Yeah! Unless you could think of something?

Lenny

[Gets off of Laverne's legs and gives her the note] What do you think?

Laverne

[Looks at the note] You spelled mustard wrong.

Lenny

[Looks at the note with Laverne] Too many O's, huh?

Lenny

Do you know whats playing down at the new view?

Laverne

What?

Lenny

Godzilla on Monster Island!

Laverne

[Grabs Lenny's shirt] You wouldn't lie to me would ya Len?

Lenny

In Toho scope!

Laverne

[Laverne and Lenny getting up] Well what are we sitting here for? What are we sitting here for?

Lenny

I don't know but come on let's move!

Laverne

I love when that baby Godzilla goes mama mama mama.

Lenny

Yeah and there's Gigan, and uh Rodan and ghidorah and I think Mothra makes a rare cameo appearance.

Laverne

Oh I loved that movie!

Lenny

Yeah me too!

Bachelor #2, what kind of vegetable would you be?

Lenny

I would be a sauerkraut. It was my only toy as a child.

Lenny

I think I move her.

Nah, she's still there.

What's the most romantic word you can think of?

Lenny

Lint.

Lint??

Lenny

Have you never been in love?

Hang on to your enchiladas, because Andrew, you and your date are headed south of the border to the spicy city of... Acapulco!

Ahhhhh!

Lenny

We're going to France!!