Lenny Kosnowski quotes from Laverne & Shirley

Shirley

No, thank you. We're going to a formal society dinner.

Lenny

[Sarcastically] Whoa, pardon me ladies...

Yeah, I would've worn my tuxedo, but my polo pony ate it.

Lenny

Me and Squiggy was talking and we decided that your kid oughta have a last name.

Laverne

Huh?

Lenny

On account of, if he don't, the poor little guy's never gonna get any mail.

Lenny

So, me and Squiggy flipped a coin to see which one of us was gonna volunteer to be your husband.

Laverne

Awwww, and you lost, huh?

Lenny

No, I won.

Oh my God, she's cooking herself to death!

Lenny

Hey don't kill yourself Shirl, They'll be other fires!

[In unison] Fire, fire, fire, someone get the net! Here come the firemen, to get the fire wet! SHHH goes the hose and DING goes the bell....

Laverne

Hey, Len, I'll trade you a brain for a chop.

Lenny

Now what am I going to do with a brain?

Lenny

Boy, am I going to dream about her tonight!

Just don't make those gurgley sounds...

Laverne

My neck moved!!

Lenny

No, it didn't, it's right under your head.

This is the third time they've been in this week!

Lenny

This is really good though! He's got internal bleeding, check his pockets!

Laverne

If you ever lay your hands on our money again, I'll tell everyone you never vo-de-oh-doh-doh-ed!

Lenny

Oh yeah? I got witnesses!

Lenny

Shirl, you are a saint.

She's better than a saint, she's a... pope.

Laverne

Go get some blankets from the bedroom.

[Excitedly] Bedroom!!

Rosie

What do you know about fixing Cadillacs?

Lenny

Listen, what I don't know about cars you could fit in a manual.

Lenny

People are going to finally start brushing their teeth once a week like they ought to!

Shirley

This may come as a shock to you, but I brush my teeth after every meal.

Lenny

That's poor oral hygiene, Shirl. You're gonna wear them right down to the nub.

What's with all the tropical flora?

Lenny

Didn't you used to go out with her?

No, that was Theresa DeFluca