Stephen quotes from Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County

Stephen

[to LC] Dude, this is so gnarly. It reminds me of the houses on The OC. Oh God.

Stephen

[to Kristin] Why don't you get up and dance on the pole again? You looked good up there, slut!

Stephen

This is going to be my last sunset in Laguna for a while.

I have two closets.

Stephen

Shut up.

This is my clothes closet and that one's my shoes and purse closet.

Wait, are you going with LC or are you going with Kristin?

Stephen

I don’t know. There’s like mad tension there, so I don’t know.

Can you imagine like LC and Kristin fighting over you?

Stephen

Having Lauren and Kristin fighting over you?

Yeah.

Stephen

Kristin’s like a really good girl to hook up with and have fun with. We can have like so much fun. But, coming down to the boyfriend and girlfriend stuff, Lauren would like a better girl.

Such drama.

Stephen

It is.

Trey

Could have seen you though dude.

Stephen

I know. It sucks for me because I don’t know what to do because either way I’ll be like hurting one.

It’s a tough choice man. But it’s a predicament…it’s just the way it goes.

Stephen

Exactly.

If I put a baby next to your car are you going to run over it?

Stephen

Why would you put a baby next to my car?

Why would I put cologne next to your car, dude?

At 2:00, we’re all running down there and jumping in the water.

Stephen

Naked!?

No... I'm wearing a bathing suit... YOU can go naked!

Stephen

So what did you think?

Kristin

Well I mean I didn’t really do much.

Stephen

If you do again you have to promise me that you’ll actually like wanna do it. So we don’t like waste our time.

Kristin

Sorry for wasting your time Stephen.

Stephen

You didn’t waste my time, it just seemed like you were wasting your time.

Kristin

Okay, whatever. Then I don’t like it.

Stephen

You wanna go? [She nods] All right, let’s go.

Kristin

Thanks for taking me surfing.

Feta cheese? [Kristin laughs] Feta cheese?

Kristin

I told you, they don’t even know what it is. Feta it’s...

You know what this is? It’s like goat.

Kristin

[laughs] Told you. You guys, just get out. You don’t even know like anything about cooking. Just get out.

Hey. I’ll have my pasta without feta cheese please.

Kristin

It doesn’t go on the pasta, dumbass.

Hey Stephen.

Stephen

Yeah?

Wanna go to Jack In The Box?

Kristin

Shut up. You guys are so mean.

A lot of fun, juggling these two girls around?

Stephen

No, I’m not juggling two girls around.

Okay.

Stephen

Me and Lauren, it’s interesting and at the same time it’s kinda weird. It’s not like it’s complicated as with me and Kristin, so...

Predicament.

Stephen

Yup.

Stephen

I wanna get the hell out of here so bad. I wish it was August 25 right now. My first day of school. We’re gonna have so much fun at school.

I wanna go right now. I just wanna leave.

Stephen

I wanna leave so bad. I’m not trying to bring anything up, but there’s so many things I wish I could take back and just like not have happened.

Like what?

Stephen

Like I don’t regret that we ever hooked up or anything like that, we became better friends from that, but like I regret the situation I got put into.

For a really long time, I did regret everything. I mean, it was like fun while it lasted. But it just almost wasn’t worth it because of all the shit we went through.

Stephen

It’s so standard. I learned a lot though. Like I’m glad I went through it, like the one time.

Don’t lie to two girls that are gonna end up, you know having the same friends.

Stephen

I am trying. What do you suggest I do to have fun?

Stephen, if you wanted someone, you could have them. Yeah you could.

Trey

You're saying that you're not going to hook up with LC in Cabo?

Stephen

There's no way I'm going to hook up with LC!

[about camping] We'll get faded and let the girls cook...

Stephen

I don't wanna get food poisoning man!

Ah! What is this? What is this?

Stephen

That's hot dogs and stuff.

Can you make one because I don't know how?

Stephen

Just put it on the fire.

But I don't know how. Help me.

Stephen

You high maintenance little bitch!

Please help me.

Stephen

Some poor man is gonna marry you someday.

My husband will love me for who I am.

Kristin

What are we? Broken up or just like taking a break? Putting it on hold?

Stephen

We're just together with an "open relationship".

Kristin

OK, but don't be open a lot.