George Mastin. He used to make obscene phone calls.
MMastin
That was a long time ago!
Then his phone bill got too big, so he started putting his money into property.
That right, Georgie?
MMastin
I own a few buildings...
Characters
Lt. Theo KojakTelly Savalas · 82 quotes
Det. Bobby CrockerKevin Dobson · 9 quotes
Capt. Frank McNeilDan Frazer · 8 quotes
Det. StavrosGeorge Savalas · 5 quotes
Alex LindenDabney Coleman · 3 quotes
Carla ElliotJane Elliot · 3 quotes
BFDetective Benny Furore3 quotes
Most scenes together: Lt. Theo Kojak & Capt. Frank McNeil (7), Lt. Theo Kojak & Det. Bobby Crocker (5), Lt. Theo Kojak & Det. Stavros (5)
S1 E1Siege of Terror
JMJack Murzie
[taunting one of the hostages] You in the army?
CCCrew Cut Hostage
No... I always wanted to be. They turned me down.
JMJack Murzie
[snickers] Why is that?
CCCrew Cut Hostage
Emotional instability.
MAMike Amazeen
Hey Murzie, that makes two of you.
JMJack Murzie
That ain't funny.
MAMike Amazeen
You're absolutely right, that ain't funny.
CCalvelli
Any chance of getting outta here?
Sure.
CCalvelli
Yeah, and the devil serves lemonade, right?
[Officer Calvelli has been shot] I'm gonna try and get a doctor in.
CCalvelli
Oh, geez, it hurts.
Now you start to worry when it stops hurting.
JMJack Murzie
That's your goof, Kojak! I warned you: the first bullet's got your name on it.
I told you we needed more time.
JMJack Murzie
Pass me a hankerchief, I cry easy.
S1 E2Web of Death
Absolutely no way the killer could've gotten past you?
IIngram
Not through the front lobby, no, sir. Seven p.m to seven a.m. nobody enters or exits that I don't okay. Tradespeople, tenants, guests, everybody logs in and out. Everybody.
Seven to seven and no relief. You must have cement kidneys.
NFDetective Nick Ferro
[invites Kojak back home for a drink] Retsina okay?
Retsina? You gotta be kidding. You're actually holding?
NFDetective Nick Ferro
It's not exactly in big demand. Five years and I still have the same bottle you gave us for our housewarming. It doesn't spoil, does it?
[smiles] Spoil? You buy it rotten. You could drop a dead cat into it, it wouldn't make any difference.
BBartender
You know, a funny thing: some joker was in here a couple of weeks ago asking about the same blonde.
Can you describe him?
BBartender
[blows through his teeth] Hey, women I remember, dad, but, eh, men? Well they're, eh, they're just like suits and ties to me, you know?
What's the point? Where would you go? If the subway went to Outer Mongolia, I'd still come after you.
NFDetective Nick Ferro
Well then, eh, Bridges is our boy?
[sarcastic chuckle] Well he can't be in two places at once, can he? And one place we know he was when Forsyth was being killed, was in the Tombs, sweating out a B and E. But the gun wasn't at the tombs. And a piece doesn't care who uses it.
S1 E3One for the Morgue
MMitch
Hey man, you know where it's at. I finger Tomasso, I'm a dead man in 24 hours.
What are you talking about? We'll give you protection.
MMitch
Ain't no such thing. That cat would get me if I was dead and buried in the ground.
Make it one for the hospital... and one for the morgue.
Here, get your hat and coat. We just got a break.
An arm or a leg?
A neck: Cleveland's.
Come on, hug the wall like it's your mother.
FFFerret Face
Ah, come on. You keep breaking us left and right and I ain't heard nothing on Tomasso.
Well maybe's he's clean.
FFFerret Face
Maybe the pope smokes grass.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kojak pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.