Batman quotes from Justice League

Batman

You've thought of everything.

Lord Batman

No. Just everything you'll ever think of.

Batman

What are you doing?

The Flash

Trying every possible combination.

Batman

9-1-9-3-9. [Date that the first Batman comic was published in Detective Comics]

Flash

How'd you know?

Batman

They're the numbers I use. How did you get out?

Flash

I sped up my heart until it looked like it flat-lined.

Batman

I didn't know you could do that.

Flash

Neither did I, but I had to come up with something if you weren't going to.

Batman

I couldn't - not with him anticipating everything I could ever think of. But who could anticipate you?

Lord Batman

What are you hiding for?

Batman

I do my best work in the dark.

Lord Batman

I used to think that too. But what have you ever accomplished from there? Aside from scaring a few punks half to death and putting a few more in jail?

Batman

It all adds up.

Lord Batman

Not fast enough. If you really want to make a difference, if you want to change the system instead of just patching it, you can't be subtle. You've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did.

Lord Batman

Think about it - a world where there's no crime, no victims, no pain.

Batman

And no choice! Who elected you, anyway?!

Lord Batman

Who elected you? The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe.

Batman

It has other virtues. But you seem to have forgotten them.

Lord Batman

I didn't forget! I just chose peace and security instead.

Batman

You grabbed power!

Lord Batman

And with that power, we've made a world where no eight-year-old boy will ever lose his parents...because of some punk with a gun!

Batman

[pauses, then drops his Batarang] You win.

Batman

They're as strong as we are and just as smart, but they're willing to kill.

Superman

What are you saying - that we have to be willing to kill too? I won't cross that line.

Batman

How else can we stop them?

Superman

You're the smart one. You figure it out.

Batman

We can't do it. Not unless we cross some kind of line.

Flash

[after Batman blows up a robot] Hey! That was my bad guy!

Batman

[to Green Lantern] Happy? [walking away] Call me when it's important. And not before.

Batman

Always trying to find a cure, aren't you?

Clayface

Can you blame me?

Batman

No. But it's made you predictable.

Clayface

You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did ya?

Batman

Wish I'd thought of that. [door blows in behind him, revealing the rest of the Justice League] Oh, wait. [smug grin] I did.

Flash

[standing over "unconscious" Sinestro] Looks like I didn't need you after all, yo. But you can help me tie him up.

Batman

...Catch. [shoots Flash in the chest with a grapple] The real Flash would've been too fast for that. [shocks him, revealing Clayface]

Clayface

What gave me away?

Batman

You overplayed your part, yo.

Grodd

Everyone's a critic.

Kalibak

I just flattened Wonder Woman! You really think you can beat me?

Batman

I'm not trying to beat you. I'm trying to stall you.

Kalibak

Stall me? For what? [Superman appears behind him] Aw- [gets punched in the face]

Superman

For what it's worth, I don't think you could've taken Batman, either.

Alfred

I'm afraid it's time, master Bruce.

Batman

I'm not going to the funeral.

Alfred

[surprised] Why?

Batman

Because he's not dead. What tipped me off was the lack of evidence.

Alfred

Sir?

Batman

[showing the table of debris] I brought all this from the crime scene, and I've examined it every way I know how.

Alfred

And you found?

Batman

Absolutely nothing. No scorching, no residue, no radiation. Objects were here, then they were gone.

Alfred

I'm afraid I don't understand.

Batman

Matter can't be created or destroyed, just changed from one form into another.

Alfred

As you say, sir. I believe I heard something about that when I attended grammar school.

Batman

So unless the law of conservation of mass has been repealed, there's still hope. [As Toyman's weapon was technological, not magical, the laws of physics must apply.]

You were greatly missed, my friend... by all of us.

Wonder Woman

Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us.

Superman

Really?

Batman

No. I never believed you were dead in the first place.

Superman

I guess that's sort of a compliment.

Lobo

Ain't this great? The whole team together again, all eight of us!

Superman

Count again. You're fired.

Lobo

What?!

Superman

You're not Justice League material, Lobo. Go chase a bail-jumper. I don't care what you do, just clear out.

Lobo

This is the thanks I get? What a stinkin' rip. [hops onto his Hog] Next time you lollipops need help, don't bother asking the Main Man! [flies away]

... We didn't ask you this time!

Flash

[After locating a bomb but not knowing how to disarm it, talking to Batman via comlink] Batman, I've got a problem!

Batman

[Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight] You... don't... SAY!

Flash

I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it.

Batman

[throwing exploding batarangs at Jack] Okay. Remove the lid...

Flash

Already done.

Batman

Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say!

Flash

I opened it before I called! [sound of blow landing] Batman, you okay?

Batman

[evading Jack's punches] Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block.

Flash

Done.

Batman

Disconnect the following wires in- [Jack hits him] AH! -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black.

Flash

[does so] Okay, what next?

Batman

You're done. Find another one!

Flash

I'm on it!

Batman

Harley! Where's Joker?

After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mister J?

Batman

Why not? He gave you up.

That was a long time ago! He's changed! We've been to couple's counseling!

Batman

I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show? You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders.

You mean Ace? She's just a kid!

Batman

Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold?

Joker

Have to admit, didn't see that one coming...

Hawkgirl

It was the shock of the detonation that stopped his heart... no, he's going to be fine. I'll stay with him tonight. Batman, about before? I'm sorry I...

Batman

No. We never leave a man behind. Right?

Hawkgirl

[smiles] Right.