Flash quotes from Justice League

[being held upside down off a roof] Who do you think you are, Batman?

Flash

It's been a long night. Just tell me where Shade is, okay?

Look, buddy, I know Batman. I once ratted out a counterfeiter to Batman. And believe me, you are no Bat- [Flash drops him] -MAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!

Flash

[standing over "unconscious" Sinestro] Looks like I didn't need you after all, yo. But you can help me tie him up.

Batman

...Catch. [shoots Flash in the chest with a grapple] The real Flash would've been too fast for that. [shocks him, revealing Clayface]

Clayface

What gave me away?

Batman

You overplayed your part, yo.

Grodd

Everyone's a critic.

What are you going to do to me?

Wonder Woman

I'm gonna punch a hole in your head.

The Flash

We don't do that to our enemies.

Wonder Woman

Speak for yourself!

The Flash

I'm trying to speak for Superman.

Green Lantern

Good instinct. His name's Lobo. He's a lowlife bounty hunter.

Lobo

The Main Man happens to be the best bounty hunter in the known universe. You can ask Superman if he weren't busy pushing up daisies.

The Flash

Hey, don't talk about him like that. Superman was our friend.

Flash

[After locating a bomb but not knowing how to disarm it, talking to Batman via comlink] Batman, I've got a problem!

Batman

[Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight] You... don't... SAY!

Flash

I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it.

Batman

[throwing exploding batarangs at Jack] Okay. Remove the lid...

Flash

Already done.

Batman

Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say!

Flash

I opened it before I called! [sound of blow landing] Batman, you okay?

Batman

[evading Jack's punches] Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block.

Flash

Done.

Batman

Disconnect the following wires in- [Jack hits him] AH! -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black.

Flash

[does so] Okay, what next?

Batman

You're done. Find another one!

Flash

I'm on it!

Joker

Even you can't disarm one of my bombs in time!

Flash

Shut up!

Joker

What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying!

Superman

That was quite a stunt you just pulled off.

Flash

I know. Can't wait to catch the rerun.

The Flash

Wow. Someone sure did a number on this place.

Ultra-Humanite

Actually, I hadn't even started... Do you believe the horrendous amount of public funding spent on this so-called art? It's garbage! An affront to any decent human aesthetic!

The Flash

Oh-kay, I'll just take you back to prison, where you won't have to look at the ugly old sculptures anymore.

Ultra-Humanite

You'll be happy to know, Flash, that your words - jejeune though they were - did not fall on deaf ears. I appreciate the sentiment behind them, and therefore call a truce in honor of the season.

The Flash

Seriously?

Ultra-Humanite

You'll have the toy to give to your young friends. I'm improving it, too.

The Flash

[suspicious] It's not gonna blow up or anything?

Ultra-Humanite

[incredulous] Flash. It is Christmas.

The Flash

Okay, but why did you hit me?

Ultra-Humanite

You hit me first. Hand me that screwdriver, will you?

The Flash

Hey, kids, Santa Flash is back! [the children cheer] Along with my special helper, Freaky The Snowman! [the children grow silent]

Ultra-Humanite

Just give them the toy and take me to jail.

The Flash

Are you sure it won't, y'know...? [makes exploding noise]

Ultra-Humanite

Oh, for Heaven's sake!

[in Ultra-Humanite's voice] Hello, children. Come close and I'll tell you a story.

Is that DJ Rubba' Ducky?

He sounds weird.

[in Ultra-Humanite's voice] Little Clara had just received a beautiful toy nutcracker from her godfather, the mysterious Herr Drosselmeyer.

Ultra-Humanite

Well? An improvement, wouldn't you say?

The Flash

I kinda liked it when he made the poopy noise... [In spite of this, the children keep hearing the toy telling the story of The Nutcracker until they start sleeping.] ...but this is good, too.

Ultra-Humanite

Haven't I seen enough of you for one night?

The Flash

I wanted to say thanks. You really helped me out.

Ultra-Humanite

I did it for the children. I welcome any opportunity to bring culture to the uncorrupted.

The Flash

Sure. But I thought you might like some holiday cheer yourself.

Ultra-Humanite

An aluminum Christmas tree?

The Flash

I know, it's kinda cheesy, but--

Ultra-Humanite

No, no. I had one just like it when I was... it's very nice. The guard will show you out.

Batman

The most mysterious creatures in the universe.

Green Lantern

Sorry?

Batman

Women. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't know she was spoken for.

Green Lantern

How did you...?

Batman

It wasn't hard to figure out. The point is these things happen. You just have to accept it and move on.

Green Lantern

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

Believe me, I know the pain when two people who are involved...

Flash

Who's involved? [He looks at Green Lantern] You and Hawkgirl?! Get out. [Green Lantern glares at Flash] Really?

They'll have the whole city covered by now.

Flash

Who knows? Maybe they'll get tired and go home. [Everyone looks at him] ...Yeah, I know. But a little optimism at a time like this couldn't hurt.

This is the voice of the Thanagarian Occupational Authority. Your so-called Justice League is in violation of our martial law. They are to be considered an enemy and dealt with on sight. Any person found aiding or harboring them will be summarily punished.

Flash

Okay, so much for optimism.

Batman

For the time being, we're going to have to go underground.

Wonder Woman

How exactly do we hide when the entire planet is looking for us?

They'll be looking for the Justice League. Without our costumes, we are merely ordinary citizens. [shifts into human form]

Flash

Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys, but I'm not sure I'm ready to-

Batman

[points at Flash] Wally West, [points at Superman] Clark Kent... [removes own mask] Bruce Wayne.

Flash

[stares, wide-eyed] ...Showoff. [shrugs and removes his cowl]

Wonder Woman

[ruffles his hair] Red hair. It suits you.

Flash

You think? [gets hit in the head by a shirt]

Batman

[stalks past, looking disgruntled] Change. Now.

Batman

Well?

I have no idea how to fly this vehicle.

Flash

What's this do? [pushes random button that causes the ship to fire at Wayne Manor, narrowly missing Alfred]

Batman

[through clenched teeth] That's. Not. Helping.

I came to help.

Flash

Hawkpeople all over the planet, martial law, us getting chased like dogs- I don't think we can take much more of your help.