Jonas · Season 1
Last time I saw you, you were wearing your alien ninja costume. I didn’t think you ever took it off!
Got it on under the shirt, sir.
Wear it proudly. You know Joe still wears his dinosaur underwear.
That was one time... including today.
I call it a, Joe-tato chip. (Laughs) It was worth every penny.
Wait. That fifty dollars you borrowed from me was spent on a Joe-tato chip?
Awesome, right?
Awesome wrong. I wouldn’t have lent you the money if I knew that’s what you were gonna spend it on.
Wow. I never realized our friendship came with so many conditions attached.
Any girl who is the proud owner of a rhinestone incrusted pencil case, should not be criticizing anybody.
You read my e-mails?
Only the ones you’ve opened.
I told you “Kevin’s password” wasn’t a good password.
You have something on your head.
(Reaches for head and take notepaper off his head.) “Guys, I decided to go home early.”
(Sounding excited.) Carl went home?
“Sorry this didn’t work out. I know I can be really annoying sometimes.”
You can be really annoying, Joe.
I’m still reading the note.
Oh, sorry.
“The only cool thing about me is that I know you guys.
Joe, don’t say that. You have really cool hair.
Still reading.
I said dogs could hear it. I didn’t say dogs would like it.
Whose dog was that anyway?
I don’t know, but he just left a review of Kevin’s guitar playing in the corner.
She got a frog in her throat.
There’s a bug going around.
No. She was swimming in a swamp and got an actual frog in her throat.
Didn’t you tell him we don’t have time for songs? Put the guitar down and turn the lights back on.
Then there’s no symptoms of vertigo of nausea?
No, no. I just got really dizzy then I puked.
Good lungs. And if she can carry a tune, Kevin can help her sound awesome.
Besides how bad could she be?
Ok, one time during a softball game, she was singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," and they called animal control because they thought there was an injured manatee on the field. A manatee!
[Struming guitar] Manatees. You know the way we treat these friendly cow-people of the sea... says a lot about the way we treat each other.
Didn't you tell him we don't have time for songs? Put the guitar down and turn the lights back on. [Kevin sat down, putting his guitar down as the lights turned on] Thank you.
Dude, I think your biggest math problem is, Joe plus trash can equals bonkers. And YES! I said it.
Ruining all our the clothes, messing up Stella’s date, I think somebody needs to be taught a lesson.
If all that fancy talkin’ means having fun with Joe, then I am so in!
Joe! She didn’t even notice your outfit!
Oh, we noticed.
It was just a joke.
We are not amused.
Hey Joe, if they throw you in the dungeon, can I have your new guitar?
Hey, guys, check it out. There's a new How well do you know JONAS quiz? in the new "Teenster"magazine. Let's see how well I know Joe. Yes, no, yes, no, Armadillo. Ah! Five out of five. I'm a real Joe-nut.
Hey, your favorite snack is not cherry pudding.
Yeah, it's chocolate tacos. (romantic music plays) mmm. And your favorite color is not medium spring green.
It's electric indigo.
We need to straighten Teenster magazine out.
We should do that.
We need to write a letter. Uh, anybody have a pen? (He, Nick and Joe check their pockets.)
No.
Hold on. (Walks over to window and opens it. The sound of scream fans flood the place.) Excuse me girls, does anybody have a pen? INCOMING!
Clear.
Wow! Our fans are the best.
And they’re freakishly accurate.
Dear, Teenster Magazine.
As president of the JONAS fan club, I'm trying to decide to which new JONAS picture to post on the JONAS fan club website? Help me pick?
Yes!
Okay, pouty and intense JONAS or goofy and adorable JONAS?
Ms. Sherman just barfed all over her desk and went home sick. No algebra test today!
You weren't even listening to me.
Um, I don't have to listen to you because you say the same thing every day. JONAS, JONAS, JONAS. You can't go two seconds without talking about them.
Well we all have our obsessions... except for JONAS. They are so mentally fit.
I don't have any obsessions.
What are you talking about? Look at you. You're addicted to texting. Your thumbs are turning into tiny sumo wrestlers.
Really?
Mm-hmm
I'm not addicted to texting. In fact, I bet I could go longer without texting than you could go talking about JONAS
Bet?
And the winner?
Wins.
You're on. Starting in five seconds.
JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS, JONAS!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jonas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
