[After Will and Helen kiss]
I thought we established the Kitchen as a no PDA zone.
Do you even listen to music?
Nothing legal.
It's just that, I like Adam.
I know, honey.
Mom, please. I know you think I'm dating him but I'm not. I mean, we kissed once (and, please, never repeat that to me or anyone else because I'm already grossed out I told you,) but it was just a kiss. You know, just a one-time kiss.
Okay.
It doesn't mean we're dating, does it?
Well -
Right, I know, of course not. It's just I think Adam thought that it did and he was kinda ... y'know, about it. And I - I - I was sort of ... y'know, too.
Oh...
And now he likes someone else - this, Iris (huh) - and I don't know what he sees in her. I mean, she's all... y'know. I want him to be happy; I'm not one of those people who gets all perky when someone else is miserable (maybe I am), but - but I do think Adam should be happy. Just not before I'm happy. I mean, he can be happy with someone else after I'm happy with someone else. (Does that make me a total maggot? Whatever.) The real question is: should I try to get him back? I mean, what if he falls in love with her and I realize that I do like him and it's too late but if I break them up and get him back but realize that I really don't want to be with him then he's going to hate me again, which I could not stand because I really like him. [Sighs] There's just no good answer here.
Honey, you are dealing with a lot of emotions.
Mom, I can't have this conversation right now, okay?
Maybe if learned how to shoot some hoops, we could turn you into a real man - put a smile on your face.
[Kevin punches Luke in the arm, playfully]
God, why don't you just cut out the cocky athletic crap, Kevin. You're not that guy anymore and never will be again. [Pause] I'm - I'm sorry.
What's your problem? The more things that go my way, the more pissed off you get. What's that about?
I said, "I'm sorry," okay? It won't happen again.
Yes it will. What do you and your science friends call that - Law of Inertia? What is it?
[Kevin punches Luke again]
What's the problem, Luke?
THAT! Right there. Do you have any idea how much I hated you for shoving me and hitting me and making fun of me all the time? And no one would say anything about it because you were the big star and I was just a geek. You know, after your accident, when I heard you'd never walk again, I was happy.
[Kids Joan is supervising are beating a Piniata and Iris walks in]
IIris
Stop! Stop it!
Don't be such a drag, we're just having a little fun.
IIris
Fun? Swinging around a stick and beating things? My father thought it was fun too, just a little fun. Beating us with a stick, just like this. First my mother and then.... Why would you do this?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Joan of Arcadia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.