Invader Zim · Season 1
Prepare yourselves, you slime-licking smort crabs, to face a series of trials! The finish line is the dreaded fortress of pain! Any mistakes and you will be beamed away, to a losers' holding pen! The holding pen... of pain!
The holding pen is painful?
Yes!
Does it have to be?!?
Not really.
I'm really looking forward to twisting you into a twisted, horrible knot, made from you.
A little to the left, okay? Step forward, okay? Look out for the monkey.
Got it, okay. How am I doing? Okay monkey, got it, okay.
Okay? Look out for the other monkey, okay?
Okay, got it. Oh no, oh no, oh no ah aha ahaaah ahahaha! [crashing noise]
Okay?
Okay. LOOK OUT!
We cannot fail, GIR. Even as a small Irken smeet my dream was to pass probing day like a Slor Beast passes her young. Jiggly! And full of juice...
You're just going to blow us all up? This is stupid! This is stupid, stupid!
But seriously Zim if you just speed up the explosion-
I don't pay you to contradict me!
You don't... pay me at all...
[being used as a catapult for an accelerator to speed up the explosion] But if the big 'splodey goes fast, won't it get all bad?
Plasma-Armed battle tanks, Maim-bots, death ray cannons, a sack of taquitos?
Just a few supplies I will need to complete my mission.
You get my taquitos yet?
Your exile... I mean, mission is to observe the planet, Zim. Not anhialate it.
Yes, but I'm quite good at ahnialating.
TAQUITOS! And a clown with no head.
Look. We'd love to grant your request, but we think you're insane. Uh, untrained.
Untrained!? Invader Zim!?
You're trained as an invader, Zim. Battle tanks are for hardened soldiers.
Hrm!
Hey! How about we send Zim to Hobo 13? It's the... um... finest military training planet ever. Zim! On Hobo 13, you'll be torn limb from limb!
Evaluated! Evaluated as a soldier! If you pass, we'll send you a BIG bag of battle tanks!
But not that clown thing.
HEADLESS CLOWN! HEADLESS CLOOOOOOOOOOWN!
[knocks GIR aside] Very well, my Tallest! To obtain my tanks, I will allow the evacuation of my incredible brain meats. Zim out!
How about clown taquitos? [Zim ends transmission]
As you can see, brave Invader Zim has begun his journey to the Fortress of Pain!
Anyone wanna bet that Zim gets blown up?
A thousand moneyz something eats him up!
All right. Anyone for chopped in half?
OOHH! I bet two thousand moneyz!
This circle is surrounded by a transportation field. First person to be pushed through that field gets transported to-
The Holding Pen of Pain?
No. It's FULL! Now the loser gets sent to...THE OUTHOUSE OF MADNESS!
You are the worst student I've ever had!
[Cutting him off] Perhaps you have trained me too well!
[Disappointed] No really, you're the worst.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
