Marshall Mann quotes from In Plain Sight

Mary

What are you doing?

Marshall

What? Nothing. I'm doing my job, keeping my eye on things.

Mary

Look at me.

Marshall

No. Why?

Mary

Because I'm talking to you. Oh my God. You can't look at me. Marshall, for God's sake. It's not like I'm naked.

Marshall

Naked would be better. That makes me feel so dirty.

Mary

Good Lord. Watch the door, Purvis.

Mary

When were you going to tell me?

Marshall

Actually, I was going to mail it to myself so you could read it.

Mary

Marshall. Marshall! Can you hear me?

Marshall

I must have bumped my head.

Mary

Yeah, that's what happened. Then you fell on a bullet.

Marshall

Huh?

Mary

You doofus, you got shot.

Marshall

Oh, crap.

Mary

What do you think?

Marshall

I think if that really was Lola, she knows this is her only shot at Mr. Personality before he talks to the feds.

Mary

Which means she's coming back.

Marshall

Dun, dun, duh.

Mary

That's pretty funny for a guy with a sucking chest wound.

Marshall

I know.

Mary

How are we doing?

Marshall

Tension pneumothorax.

Mary

That's funny. I was just going to say that.

Marshall

Tube thorocostomy.

Mary

Marshall, if I'm going to help you, you need to speak English.

Marshall

No. Not exactly. Look, it's nothing like what you think.

Mary

Oh yeah? Well you should probably explain, because I'm pretty confused. I know you love the job and I thought you—I thought we were friends.

Marshall

We are. You're my best friend.

Mary

Jesus, Marshall, you're like my only friend.

Marshall

I know, and you're like my only friend.

Mary

So? Sounds like a pretty good arrangement. What's the problem?

Marshall

The problem with us is—

Mary

Please just tell me.

Marshall

I feel like I'm the keeper of this exotic animal, and I spend my time either protecting you from the world or the world from you. And it's just—it's a lot of responsibility.

Mary

I'm sorry. But that's your job. [Kisses him on the cheek] And you cannot quit.

Marshall

Okay.

Marshall

What exactly is your beef with humanity?

Mary

I have no beef with humanity. It's people I can't stand.

Marshall

Man, every time I walk into a gym it gets my blood up.

Oh, did you play?

Marshall

Badminton. We played our tournaments here. See this scar? Shuttlecock injury. Ended my career.

Is he kidding?

Mary

I don't know. Either way, it's pathetic.

Excuse me. [Leaves]

Mary

Way to work shuttlecock into the conversation, jackass.

Marshall

It's one of the funnier words.

Mary

Hey there, Socrates. What brings you to these hallowed halls? Boning up on your philosophy? Taking an oral exam? Having sex with your old professor?

Marshall

Okay, get it out of your system.

Mary

Look at you. All blushy.

Mary

He called me ma'am.

Marshall

Yeah, but he was looking down your shirt when he said it.

Mary

Why are you being so nice to me?

Mary

I’m sorry, but that stewardess had a bad attitude, plain and simple. I don’t know how you can defend that behavior.

Marshall

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps our flight attendant didn’t appreciate being called “stewardess”?

Mary

Yeah, well, I didn’t particularly appreciate our stewardess hitting on my travel companion. Just assuming we weren’t a couple. Crap! Damn it! [Raph physical therapy 3:30]

Marshall

You must be the best girlfriend.

Marshall

And for the record, there was no "hitting on" taking place. Just a little bit of old fashioned common courtesy.

Mary

Really? So you think an invitation to join the mile high club is old fashioned? All right, maybe that's what passes for courtesy these days. Just not what I'd call kickin' the friendly skies old school. And by the way...if the stewardess finds the job title so objectionable, maybe he should have chosen another line of work.

Marshall

That was beautiful. Bach, suite number three? Not something I've heard on piano before.

Oh, it was my sister's cello piece. I was just fooling around.

Mary

He was one of the few truly good, selfless people I've ever met.

Marshall

You know, Ayn Rand's central thesis posits that selflessness is antithetical to good.

Mary

A hundred bucks says you die a lonely old man.

Marshall

I brought you coffee and a bagel.

Mary

You suck.

Marshall

Excuse me? Aw, are you still on the juice fast? Aren't you crabby enough without adding Spirulina to the mix?

Mary

Bite me. I'm trying to do something healthy for a change.

Marshall

Why?

Mary

Why? How about because being healthy is better than not being healthy.

Marshall

It doesn't suit you. It seems oddly out of character. Kind of unsettling.

Mary

Did you ever stop to think that what's in character for me isn't working for me? I'm 35-ish, I don't have a boyfriend, I live by myself, I go to work, come home, go to work. Is it so beyond the realm of reason that I want just a little bit more from my life, or is that just too much for you to wrap your little pea-brain around?

Marshall

I've gotta believe this is the Spirulina talking.

Mary

Got three bedrooms. Check this out. One is my bedroom. One is my office and the other is I have no idea. How great is that? I have got an entire room with no defined purpose. I can fill it with Corn Flakes if I wanted.

Marshall

I'm not sure this neighborhood is zoned for Corn Flakes but an intriguing notion none the less.

Mary

Okay then. Sand. I can fill it with sand. Better yet, bullets. You can never have too many bullets. That's my bullet room. I have a bullet room.

Marshall

Well, as long as it's something practical.