When do we go to the bathroom?
That is up to your bladder.
Do girls have bladders?
No, we store pee in our feet.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Gibby knocks on the door.]
[Opens the door] Just a moment! [Opens the door to see that Gibby has arrived holding his sleeping bag] Gibster, what up, little weirdo?
Not much. [Makes his way inside] Carly here?
Nah, she just left with Freddie and Sam for Webicon. You can catch 'em if you hurry down–
No, I don't need to catch 'em. Just wanted to return this sleeping bag. I don't need it anymore. [Throws Spencer the sleeping bag. Spencer catches it] You should probably wash that.
[Spencer throws the sleeping bag on the chair.]
Don't you need that for camp?
Nah, I just found out I'm too old for camp.
Too old?
Yeah, once you turn 15, they won't let you go anymore.
Aw. Well, I know how you feel. I remember when they said I wasn't allowed to go to camp anymore.
'Cause you were too old?
No.
[Beat]
So if you can't go to camp, what are you gonna do?
I don't know. [Sits down on the couch] Sit home, take a bath, watch reruns of Diff'rent Strokes.
Hey. [Closes the door] How would you like to go to camp right here in this apartment?
[Surprised] What you talking about, Spencer?
[Takes a phone] I'm gonna call your mom and tell her you can come to Camp Spencer right here for the next few days.
[Gibby stands up.]
What do you say to that? [Starts to make a call]
[Excited] I say "Dy-no-mite!"
You watch a lot of classic TV?
[Confused] What do you mean?
[Spencer resumes making a call.]
Yay, a clown!
Yeah, he's 87 years old and his name's Cramps!
[Spencer is looking at the broken countertop when he hears a knock on the door.]
Come in!
[Comes into the apartment wearing a backpack and a lanyard and holding two pillows] Hello, fellow camper!
Hey, Gib. Where's your mom?
She dropped me off. [Closes the door]
Aw. She didn't wanna come up and see me?
Nope.
Okay. [Sees the lanyard on Gibby's neck] Whoa! Nice lanyard. [Takes a look at the lanyard]
Thanks. Made it at camp last year.
Shut up!
True chiz!
Awesome!
[Takes off his backpack and puts it down on the couch] So what's our first camp activity?
Uh– I was gonna plan some stuff, but then I got stuck working on this countertop all day– [Picks up the piece of the countertop and shows it to Gibby] –and it's still not fixed.
No problem. Let's fix the countertop together, then start camp.
[Puts down the piece] Who's awesome?
Gibby!
Yeah!
[Spencer and Gibby high five.]
I'm really sorry your clown had an aneurysm.
I'm sorry he had an aneurysm while I was dancin' with him.
If you just heard a large crack, that was my heart breaking.
[Gibby sits on a chair backwards sipping from a bottle while Spencer paints glue on the piece of the countertop.]
[Puts down the bottle] Spence. I don't mean to be rude, but– [Angrily] –I've been sittin' here for two hours doing NOTHING!
I know, I'm sorry.
[Stands up] You said this would be like camp. How long is it gonna take you to fix that countertop?
[Finishes painting glue on the piece of the countertop] It's done. [Puts the paintbrush on top of the bucket]
It is?
I just applied the lacquer. [Puts down the cloth] Now, I test it– [Picks up the bottle] –by setting this bottle right here on the previously broken corner. [Puts down the bottle on the piece of the countertop]
Nice work!
Thanks!
Time for camp?
Yep. [Picks up the bottle, but the glue has glued the piece of the countertop to the bottom of the bottle] I was thinkin' we could start with– [Realizes that the glue has glued the piece of the countertop to the bottom of the bottle and gets exasperated]
Maybe you should've waited longer for it to dry.
Really? [Shrugs]
[Spencer is drilling under the bottom of the countertop while Gibby eats a banana while swinging his lanyard.]
[Angrily] You really gotta take the whole countertop off?
Yeah, I told you, I need to set it on its side so I can epoxy the corner back on and secure it with clamps 'till the epoxy dries.
And then, we get to do camp stuff?
I promise. Now come on and help me lift the counter off.
[Gibby puts down his lanyard and banana on the table.]
On lift.
[Spencer and Gibby grab both sides of the countertop.]
Can I help you?
[Too shocked to see Nora face to face] Uh, yeah. My name is Gibby.
Oh yes. I recognize you from your appearances on ICarly.
Thanks, The show's a lot of fun. Anyway, I was wondering do you have Carly, Sam and Freddie trapped here?
[Lying under suspicion] No. Good day.
Wait! are you sure they're not here?
[irate and impatient] Yes, there is no one in my basement.
[in a suspicious tone] I didn't say anything about your basement.
[pauses for a moment and became fearful] NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD! [she then slams the door]
Okay. No problem. I'll just– GO AWAAAAY! [crashes through Nora's front door]
[screams in pure fright and rage] GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!
What are you doing?
She's either cooling herself, or eating your frozen pizzas. Probably both.
[she walks up to the freezer, turns Sam to her and sees a slice of frozen pizza in her mouth] Oh, my God! You are eating my frozen pizza!
It is a 15-kilowatt liquid propane generator with a 990 cc Pro-Guard 35 horsepower V-V twin engine, yeah I said all that.
When the temperature gets too high, the elderly will start to die!
Wow, that's a creepy rhyme.
Carly, come rub my neck.
I have to go work on my project.
Freddie, come rub my neck.
Yeah, that'll happen.
(after Sabrina accidentally destroys her Utopian society) ...And now, I have angina!
MY ROOM'S ON FIRE!
WHAT?
Fire?
(The firefighters put out the fire that destroyed Carly's room)
Oh my god... my room.
Wow.
Well... It could be worse.
CDChief Donker
No, It couldn't. I'm Chief Donker. Seattle Fire Department.
(holds out his hand) Spencer Shay.
CDChief Donker
Yeah. We know who you are.
Hey, come here, kid. (Carly breaks down into tears and she and Sam hug each other after her room got destroyed) It's okay, Carls. If you want, you can stay with me and my mom. (Carly keeps crying louder and harder)
Do you guys know how the fire started?
CDChief Donker
Oh, yes. (he holds up the gummy bear lamp) This bedside table lamp started the fire.
(Spencer gets shocked)
But I don't have a table lamp.
(Everyone gets looks at Spencer in shock)
Look... Spencer wanted to make you a special present for your birthday...
So... He made you a gummy bear lamp...
(depressed) Carly, I'm... Hey, I bet what that goat did to you last year doesn't seem so bad anymore. (Carly cries again and hugs Sam again)
CDChief Donker
(to Freddie and confused) ...What did the goat do?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.