Ethel quotes from I Love Lucy

Ethel

We can always call the zoo and order a couple of dancing bears.

Ethel

[explaining poker to Lucy] It's a lot like hearts, only you bet, and there isn't any old maid.

Ethel

I shall now contact Tilly! [in a monotone voice] Ethel to Tilly, Ethel to Tilly. Come in, Tilly. Over.

Ethel

My trance is wearing off, I think you better hang up now.

Ethel

Oh just wait until Mickey Richardson hears about this!

Ethel

Sing something.

Ricky

I couldn't.

Lucy

Let's neck.

Ricky

Wait a minute, I'll sing.

Lucy

We must know two men who are single and attractive. [Lucy and Ethel pause to think] Two men who are single. [pause] Two men. [pause] A boy and a dog.

Ethel

Maybe we should settle for Little Boy Blue and Peter Cottontail.

Ethel

I think a tuxedo is the best looking thing a man can wear.

Fred

Unless he's wearing boxing trunks.

Ethel

Here, you missed something on this one.

Lucy

That's the design.

Ethel

It is?

Lucy

Sure, can't you see. Flowers against a background of (scratches plate with nail) gravy.

Ethel

[reading from 'Dr. Humphries' book] If he hunts, take up hunting. If he fishes, take up fishing. If he golfs, take up golfing.

Lucy

Ricky plays poker. I'll have to take up poking.

Ethel

[reading from Dr. Humphries' book] Often, after the first years of marriage, the husband seems to lose interest in the wife. He reads the paper at the breakfast table, he doesn't answer when you talk to him. In short, he doesn't even know you're alive.

Lucy

I wonder where Dr. Humphries ever met Ricky.

I've loved parties ever since I was a little girl, how about you, Ethel?

Ethel

I haven't been to a party since I was a little girl.

Lucy

[after buying a pair of hostess pants for Ethel's birthday gift] Well, now, wait a minute, Ethel, look. You get yourself a little black, off-the-shoulder blouse, and a big crushy belt, and little ballet slippers, and you're all set!

Ethel

What for, Halloween?

Lucy

I have an idea!

Ethel

How can you stand there in the middle of this mess and utter those four horrible words: "I've got an idea?"

Lucy

I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar.

Ethel

Well they're certainly bizarre!